Enneagram Type 5 Board Archive

Re: 5's are cold and detached+one once of theory

Re: 5's are cold and detached+one once of theory

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Posted by Laurence on July 20, 2000 at 10:04:03:

In Reply to: 5's are cold and detached posted by oceanwench on July 20, 2000 at 00:02:44:

: Not so! I think many people (5's included) are describing fives
Most litterature on the Enneagram is descriptive and rather superficial, easily caught into stereotyped sets of behaviors....
Fives are in touch with their feelings WHEN they feel safe to do so, mostly when alone. They fear being taken advantage of for they have a very large time frame and forsee possible consequenses and they'd rather avoid wreking the few precious bonds they may have and also like to stay out of reach. They are hypersensitive to rejection and will only take reasonable risks. YES, when they (we) find persons we can really trust, the outpouring can be quite overwhelming according to their standards.
The wing influence also may create a difference in the expression and perception of feelings.

wrongly...As a 5 I am highly passionate & emotional although I am reluctant/scared to show this to the outside world unless it is in the form of a debate. In fact, I tend to seek out discussions in which I will debate ANY side of an issue just to get riled up...I do become withdrawn, however, when points are made on an emotional level without any logic behind them---But not because I am cold but because I do not know what to do. I cannot really remember having a fight with any past boyfriend because I am horrified if I express dramatics outwardly. Love, affection, sure---I express these readily. But tears, etc, etc? I vent in private but it does not mean I hurt or feel any less than another type. In fact, it may mean 5's feel it more because we set up this image of detachment and an emotional arrogance and find it difficult to admit our feelings to friends...this gives a 3ish quality---upholding our superiority by not succumbing to messy feelings like mere mortals---a 2ish responsibility to take care of others also rears it head since we are able to detach, do what needs to be done, and save our hurts for later when alone.

: One note to make--as a 5 I have noticed a past tendancy to rely on romantic relationships too much. I think this is because I feel so uncomfortable sharing feelings with friends and family that when someone shares deep intamacy, you finally feel safe to let go--be liberated and share ALL emotions (lol). This, I have found out, is exhausting for others.....

: I think 5's tend to withdraw not because we are cold, but rather because we are highly emotional and being around people reminds us of that. 5's do not like to feel overwhelmed, so we stay isolated where we can numb ourselves out with books, puzzles, and yes--Star Trek.

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: : Not so! I think many people (5's included) are describing fives : Most litterature on the Enneagram is descriptive and rather superficial, easily caught into stereotyped sets of behaviors.... : Fives are in touch with their feelings WHEN they feel safe to do so, mostly when alone. They fear being taken advantage of for they have a very large time frame and forsee possible consequenses and they'd rather avoid wreking the few precious bonds they may have and also like to stay out of reach. They are hypersensitive to rejection and will only take reasonable risks. YES, when they (we) find persons we can really trust, the outpouring can be quite overwhelming according to their standards. : The wing influence also may create a difference in the expression and perception of feelings. : wrongly...As a 5 I am highly passionate & emotional although I am reluctant/scared to show this to the outside world unless it is in the form of a debate. In fact, I tend to seek out discussions in which I will debate ANY side of an issue just to get riled up...I do become withdrawn, however, when points are made on an emotional level without any logic behind them---But not because I am cold but because I do not know what to do. I cannot really remember having a fight with any past boyfriend because I am horrified if I express dramatics outwardly. Love, affection, sure---I express these readily. But tears, etc, etc? I vent in private but it does not mean I hurt or feel any less than another type. In fact, it may mean 5's feel it more because we set up this image of detachment and an emotional arrogance and find it difficult to admit our feelings to friends...this gives a 3ish quality---upholding our superiority by not succumbing to messy feelings like mere mortals---a 2ish responsibility to take care of others also rears it head since we are able to detach, do what needs to be done, and save our hurts for later when alone. : : One note to make--as a 5 I have noticed a past tendancy to rely on romantic relationships too much. I think this is because I feel so uncomfortable sharing feelings with friends and family that when someone shares deep intamacy, you finally feel safe to let go--be liberated and share ALL emotions (lol). This, I have found out, is exhausting for others..... : : I think 5's tend to withdraw not because we are cold, but rather because we are highly emotional and being around people reminds us of that. 5's do not like to feel overwhelmed, so we stay isolated where we can numb ourselves out with books, puzzles, and yes--Star Trek.

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