Posted by Heidi on December 29, 2000 at 12:01:36:
In Reply to: Re: depressed fives? posted by laurence on December 29, 2000 at 10:59:47:
: I'd have a lot to say on that subject. However, it isn't easy to summarize in one paragraph. My own experience has taught me to reject brain chemistry. Several years ago, I went through an accute depression which was necessary, the emergency of much repressed pain. What has helped me most has been artistic expression. Some find gestalt therapy works well for them. Anyway, any therapy involving body/feelings can only be helpful to us E5s. I also found that systemic therapy inspired from the research work of the Palo Alto center can be incredibly powerful at uncovering pathological relational patterns in the family. Anyway, medication is the worst you could do to yourself, it won't cure the symptoms, it just tricks the mind for a while, long term consequences can be very negative.
Yes, that's the truth. It's good to know you're working with a therapist that gives you comfort. Stick with that.
An analogy comes to mind--you're a beautiful painting that needs some restoration. The medications will only serve to put a glossy varnish over your "cracks" and leave your already muddy or faded "colors" a bit yellowish. It doesn't fix the "cracks" or make the "color" more true. It actually makes them harder to get at.
:
: : I am a 5w4, INTx. I sometimes test as a 4, but I know I am a 5; I occasionally test as INTJ, but mostly INTP.
: : Over the last eighteen months or so, I have suffered from clinical depression. During my depression, symptoms associated with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (checking, scrupulosity, inordinate concern with patterns) also became quite problematic. I'd be interested in knowing how other 5s have dealt with depression in their lives, if anyone here would like to discuss it. I don't think it's at all easy for a 5w4 to be depressed, but it is very easy for us to slip into depression. I am on an SSRI medication for my depression, which helps tremendously, but has some worrying side effects, mostly to do with sexual dysfunction and some memory problems. I have always had an extraordinarily good memory, which I suspect is fairly typical of the 5. I have also been undergoing therapy, which has been deeply confronting for me. Just walk into a room and tell a stranger all about your innermost feelings, my God. It has been a revelation, though: I have discovered feelings, thoughts, questions I didn't know existed. It's been humbling, and intellectually/emotionally very exciting.
: : My depression had got pretty much to a vegetative state before I sought help. Typically, I had just tried to buckle down and solve things for myself. It seems that events in my life that were deeply disturbing triggered the depression, but at some point it became largely a matter of brain chemistry, which would explain the extreme relief I have got from my medication.
: : Well -- I bring that all up as a rather odd introduction to myself (believe me, two years ago it would have been much more about what I think than how I have been feeling!) I have suspected for a while that we 5s might have a rather special relationship to depressive disorders, and would love some comments or suggestions from people on this board. My mother is a 6 (sometimes seems like a 1), my sister a 2, my father a 5(w6, I think), and my partner is a 1. I think a lot about how these relationships have affected my way of seeing the world -- I know I am a five in a zillion different ways, but mostly when I read descriptions of the five as a child, which might as well be my life story. Depression has also taught me to be far more compassionate than I was before, though I always *thought* I was compassionate.
: : I am a lot better now, but want to understand my illness. Any comments, ideas?
: : Bilo