Posted by K.B. on December 31, 2000 at 11:35:35:
In Reply to: How Sweet of You to Analyze, KB! posted by Not Thinking Anymore on December 31, 2000 at 00:23:05:
: Ok, here are the numbers, ready for crunching:
: Me:
: One=5 / Two=0 / Three=-3 / Four=5 / Five=7 / Six=-9 / Seven=-10 / Eight=2
: Nine=3
: I've often scored much higher in catagory Eight, as well as much higher in catagory Five.
: Him:
: One=-1 / Two=-3 / Three=9 / Four=13 / Five=-7 / Six=6 / Seven-0 / Eight=-9
: Nine=-8
It does sound like some of both your scores are "reactions to what is going on at the present time", but let me try to analyze it. Bear in mind that I or no-one else here can be the final word on this and that you need to possibly go to marriage counselling with him.
First of all, you want to have a lot more fun than he does. This is obvious from your high 7 and his 7 at the back of the pack. What is not so obvious but is showing up in the test results {did he take the test or is it your interpretation of him; which is valid in the sense that it shows the way you see him} is that you are under far more stress and are far more aware of problems than he is. Both your healthy 5 and unhealthy 1 are close to the top, while his healthy 1 and unhealthy 2 are far lower in the pack.
He is dominating you, probably by stifling and demeaning your urge for fun and you don't know how to fight back nor do you want to take it from him. {Low 9,8,2}. You probably react with verbal comments. He may be becoming more of a tyrant in response to you and was probably more peaceful in the past. But he wants his way and isn't going to give it up. His loner and self centered romantic nature is conflicting with your love of going out and having fun.
Both your 2's are low. It shows that part of the problem is that neither of you are good at listening really well to the other but are more likely to react instead. Also your low 9 and 8 as opposed to his higher 9 and 8 show that he is the more emotional at times of conflict {the one to either explode or walk away and end the conflict}. Well, I guess {and you verified part of it} that some of both your scores are artificial reactions to present conditions. I hope the two of you sit down and listen to each other or if that doesn't work, to see a pro to work it out. Good luck, K.B.