Even though I agree, can you Mr. Benwalla state a public record that you are NOT me since paranoid Margaret seems to think I follow her every move?

Posted by Cory [nt] on July 24, 2000 at 00:39:37:

In Reply to: You need an exorcism. Seriously nt posted by benwalla on July 20, 2000 at 16:37:40:

: : Here's a 5-ish confession of mine.

: : In my twenties I slept during the day and was wide awake at night.

: : I used to like the night better because I felt more comfortable and less invaded and intruded.

: : (I was also the only woman who was a night owl wherever I went.)
: : (I also never talked outloud to anyone ever but probably spoke a total of 10-20 words during almost that entire span of years.)

: : But the night always felt so comfortable and peaceful, and the early mornings too.

: : No one could see me, not like the day time, where everyone could see me and judge me and *that* was the stress I associated with day time - there I was staning under braod daylight -a target easiliy accessible to anyone and everyone to judge away ruthlessly as possible.

: : The night always felt safer - free from ruthless judgement.
: :
: : And when the daytime came I got tired and couldn't stay awake with all the liveliness and noise and busy-ness and stress so I would hide away under the covers and close all the heavy dark curtains and sleep away the people who seemed to always want stressful demands from me.

: : But this past year or so, I began to see what I missed - the sun, and what it made easier for us to develop: companionship, friendship, love and caring.

: : It came in hand in learning to be careful in what and especially with whom I choose to spend my precious daytime hours with though.

: : Because when I make the wrong choice or decision - and end up spending too much very bad poor emotional quality time with someone else during the daytime -
: : I'm back to square one again - the awake at night and sleepy during the day makes my sleep go backward again.

: : I sought safety from people's emotional negativity at night when they were sleeping.

: : It works at times when I need it.

: : But I don't want to live my life like that anymore in the darkness at night.

: : I now struggle during the day a lot - I have a fulltime day job and when it gets so stressful I do all I can to stay awake and not fall over uncounscious with dead fatigue.

: : My question is - has anyone else ever experience a sleep, tired, awake time change directly porportionate to as well as a direct instant reaction to the amount of stress that goes on in one's life?

: : Or am I the only one here?

Follow Ups:

• How about getting your internet provider to provide me with proof the times you logged on and off? If you're too afraid, then you're hiding - who else could it be anyway? Margaret 21:34:23 07/25/00 (0)

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