How about getting your internet provider to provide me with proof the times you logged on and off? If you're too afraid, then you're hiding - who else could it be anyway?

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: : : : Here's a 5-ish confession of mine. : : : : In my twenties I slept during the day and was wide awake at night. : : : : I used to like the night better because I felt more comfortable and less invaded and intruded. : : : : (I was also the only woman who was a night owl wherever I went.) : : : : (I also never talked outloud to anyone ever but probably spoke a total of 10-20 words during almost that entire span of years.) : : : : But the night always felt so comfortable and peaceful, and the early mornings too. : : : : No one could see me, not like the day time, where everyone could see me and judge me and *that* was the stress I associated with day time - there I was staning under braod daylight -a target easiliy accessible to anyone and everyone to judge away ruthlessly as possible. : : : : The night always felt safer - free from ruthless judgement. : : : : : : : : And when the daytime came I got tired and couldn't stay awake with all the liveliness and noise and busy-ness and stress so I would hide away under the covers and close all the heavy dark curtains and sleep away the people who seemed to always want stressful demands from me. : : : : But this past year or so, I began to see what I missed - the sun, and what it made easier for us to develop: companionship, friendship, love and caring. : : : : It came in hand in learning to be careful in what and especially with whom I choose to spend my precious daytime hours with though. : : : : Because when I make the wrong choice or decision - and end up spending too much very bad poor emotional quality time with someone else during the daytime - : : : : I'm back to square one again - the awake at night and sleepy during the day makes my sleep go backward again. : : : : I sought safety from people's emotional negativity at night when they were sleeping. : : : : It works at times when I need it. : : : : But I don't want to live my life like that anymore in the darkness at night. : : : : I now struggle during the day a lot - I have a fulltime day job and when it gets so stressful I do all I can to stay awake and not fall over uncounscious with dead fatigue. : : : : My question is - has anyone else ever experience a sleep, tired, awake time change directly porportionate to as well as a direct instant reaction to the amount of stress that goes on in one's life? : : : : Or am I the only one here?

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