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Re: How do you get a 5 to change?

Re: How do you get a 5 to change?

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Posted by thinker on July 28, 2000 at 00:16:48:

In Reply to: How do you get a 5 to change? posted by Curious on July 27, 2000 at 19:00:00:

: Hi There!

: I have two 5's in my life (fiance and sister) who are impossible to get to change. I mean that they don't even see how they turn everything into a thought and avoid feeling emotions. It's so obvious to me and others but they can't see it. They seem to have so little energy to change. It's like pulling teeth. HELP!

Hi! First of all, you should be seeking to 'enlighten' the people involved about the behaviours that are proving to be impossible to you. You should keep in mind, that it is behavioural patterns that you achieve to alter rather than the person itself.
Being a 5 myself, I can certainly identify with what your fiance and sister might 'be like' however I can also identify with your frustrations to their apparent lack of emotional response/s. I know that my 'type' of thinking or my 'ways' can be unbearable at the best of times for those close to me.
In terms of advice, I can only speak for myself and this doesn't necessarily equate to 'gospel' advice in terms of your fiance and sister, however the way to make them realise that their behaviour!! and not them per se, is causing some conflict, is to begin to understand why they think like they do in the first place. Begin to probe and seek answers as to why they reach the decisions that they do and act they way that they do. This is hard work, for a 5 is not usually as responsive as one might want them to be at first, for it takes 'us' a lot of effort to communicate our thoughts and escpecially emotions to someone else. It is not particularly true that we avoid feeling emotions are incapable of doing so, however being thinkers, 'we' or rather 'I' try to analyse our emotions as well.This takes up a lot of energy and effort, which could give the impression to others that we are arrogant, superficial and too distant at times. It's just that we like to, but not always enjoy, thinking through situations and emotions, knowledge, which has the effect of giving us some sense of control over our lives.

Hope this gives a slight insight!!

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: : Hi There! : : I have two 5's in my life (fiance and sister) who are impossible to get to change. I mean that they don't even see how they turn everything into a thought and avoid feeling emotions. It's so obvious to me and others but they can't see it. They seem to have so little energy to change. It's like pulling teeth. HELP! : Hi! First of all, you should be seeking to 'enlighten' the people involved about the behaviours that are proving to be impossible to you. You should keep in mind, that it is behavioural patterns that you achieve to alter rather than the person itself. : Being a 5 myself, I can certainly identify with what your fiance and sister might 'be like' however I can also identify with your frustrations to their apparent lack of emotional response/s. I know that my 'type' of thinking or my 'ways' can be unbearable at the best of times for those close to me. : In terms of advice, I can only speak for myself and this doesn't necessarily equate to 'gospel' advice in terms of your fiance and sister, however the way to make them realise that their behaviour!! and not them per se, is causing some conflict, is to begin to understand why they think like they do in the first place. Begin to probe and seek answers as to why they reach the decisions that they do and act they way that they do. This is hard work, for a 5 is not usually as responsive as one might want them to be at first, for it takes 'us' a lot of effort to communicate our thoughts and escpecially emotions to someone else. It is not particularly true that we avoid feeling emotions are incapable of doing so, however being thinkers, 'we' or rather 'I' try to analyse our emotions as well.This takes up a lot of energy and effort, which could give the impression to others that we are arrogant, superficial and too distant at times. It's just that we like to, but not always enjoy, thinking through situations and emotions, knowledge, which has the effect of giving us some sense of control over our lives. : Hope this gives a slight insight!!

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