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Enneagram Type 5 Board Archive Re: 9s?? 6s??Posted by eowyn on July 30, 2000 at 10:07:22: In Reply to: Re: 5s in relationships... common couples?? posted by The Zen Cowgirl on July 30, 2000 at 03:09:13: : I've never had any kind of serious relationship with a 9, although two good friends of mine whom I dated awhile back are 9/1s. Much as I enjoy their company, I thought each of them lacked enough fire to really meet me head-on. I'm a 5/4, and though I dislike conflict I can be pretty aggressive when I need to be, and am always looking for a good argument! This I can most definitely identify with.. and it is this quality of the average 9 that has usually turned me away from them as more than just aquaintances... that the moment you you actually engage them, they back down from standing their ground for lack of true convictions one way or another.. and this is why I was curious as to other peoples experiences with 9s.. maybe not even romantically, but in any sense... because this particular 9w1 is so healthy, and has such a fully developed sense of self, (lack thereof being a major complaint of mine regarding most 9s) as well as that "fire" you speak of.. we argue all the time, for hours on end, always at an intellectual level though, rarely at all descending into anything personal, and its absolutely wonderful to not only be with someone who can challenge me like he does, and often hold his own in an argument against me (a big plus), but also brings along with him the other comforting benefits of the 9. At first I thought he was a 3, (that is the direction of integration for the 9, correct?) but soon realized otherwise. So maybe Im more curious about the nature of 9s in general... theyve really been a subject of my fascination recently as Ive also rekindled an old friendhsip with a female 9w1 and shes no where near as healthy as my boyfriend... they appear as two differnt types almost.. Also, you mentioned the 6/7... Ive found that over the years, my oldest closest friends have been mostly 6w5, and I always kind of figured that this was because the type I would naturally identify with, my own 5w6, I simply have never gotten to know another one.. and the closest type would be the 6w5.. (over a 5w4 because my 6 wing is pretty big).. I was curious for you 5w4s, do you feel a real connection or identify strongly with 4w5s? eowyn
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