Re: My Fiveness serves as an antidote to my typical Fours' problems [text]

Posted by Gigi on August 02, 2000 at 06:16:47:

In Reply to: My Fiveness serves as an antidote to my typical Fours' problems [text] posted by Diarmuid on August 01, 2000 at 11:57:02:

How can you be a 5 some of the time and a 4 the rest? There is so much difference between the two! You could be experiencing different moods and applying different traits, but you are what you are and you cannot change your motivation. But of course you can allow many new characteristics in your personality, such as, being more compassionate, loving, investigative,
distant, observant, emotional, etc. I find myself as a 3 very interested in the secret of the universe and the mind, so I keep on reading books about them. I can get quite dramatic. I sometimes procrastinate. I can be reactive. And also authoritative. These are traits I have from all over the Enneagram. They make me a unique person. So is everyone else. But I am a 3-motivated person. So maybe I am trying to say that be either a 4 or a 5 but not both.

Another thing: You are right that there is a lot of friction between 4s and 5s. They are always defensive towards each other. A 5 cannot understand 4's emotional outlets/ups-and-downs or deep involvement in feelings- same with me but that does not make me a 5 again. A 4 will have difficulty feeling at ease with the distantness and "blank-as-stone"ness of a 5. A 5 can push you away in such a manner that you will not want to talk to her again. But I learned about the underlying motivation and I understood (!).

I must add here that I feel closer to 5s than to 4s. 4s' manner of dealing with feelings and their impulsivity are very distant to me. I can get
along with 5s more easily.

: Depression and dissatisfaction rarely have a real objective cause, in my case. It's really just emotions gone sour.

: Morphing into an evaluating, unemotional five is a very effective method. I simply erase all feeling-based thoughts.

: True, it doesn't solve any problems, but it prevents one from becoming immobile from self-pity. And no pills involved.

: As to interpersonal relations, I reckon fives and fours rarely get along very well outside of romantic set-ups. I know I have fewer five friends than any other type, and with those five who are close, we connect mostly through fourish, creative things.

: The potential for friction is very high. 4's are often demanding of others, which is anathema to 5's. They just get confused at the non-logical nature of fours' preoccupations.

: Of my four friends, most of the time that I hear their problems, I can feel the Fiveish impatience welling up. (Even if I've experienced the same!)

: A lot of the time, I am a five foremost. At first, I had myself pegged for a Five, before later realising my fourness (ay caramba that sounds pretentious), so I have a pretty good idea how pure Fives view fours in day-to-day living, non-soulmate situations.

: All my 5ness recedes in romantic situations, though. When I'm with somebody, I'm a four all the way.
: : I think these can go together well if they are both into self-improvement. They have a lot to learn from each other. As long as the Four has enough of their own life and interests to not be too dependent on the Five, and the Five has learned to expand themselves a bit more, then these two can sit very comfortably together and are likely to have lots of shared interests. I am a 4 and my soulmate is a 5 and we are like twins but also compliment each other.

Follow Ups:

• It's the wing thing Dee 07:23:50 08/02/00 (0)

Post a Followup