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Enneagram Type 5 Board Archive Re: Hi Tiggy...Posted by Laurence on August 04, 2000 at 07:58:47: In Reply to: Hi Tiggy... posted by Robin on August 02, 2000 at 11:26:07: The dark side of it : fours, especially females, are very skilled at using their so called vulnerability to drain love and attention to them, and expect exclusivity to these privileged sources. But the unbalance may become excruciating over time and I have seen these people become wild and exploitative to keep under control their "external" source of balance. I have a few highly unpleasant experiences I could share here for there is little I hate more than covered manipulation.
: But now I'm reminded of a platonic relationship that I had with another INFJ Four. I think perhaps we were a lot like the TV characters John Cage and Ally McBeal, and we were the best of friends. She appealed to me because she had a graduate degree in Psychology, had studied Eastern Philosophy/Religion, and had also earned her Phi Beta Kappa key. We resonated on an intellectual level and we always had plenty to talk about... or laugh about. : One thing I noticed about her was that she always seemed to walk around with a dark cloud over her head. I think the words that came out of her mouth the most often was "We're doomed!" This served as a catalyst for me to offer her my warmth and my attention and just basically comfort her by being a Rock-of-Gibraltar type for her. She had a vulnerability that I found endearing. : Come to think of it, the INFJ Four with whom I had an 8-year romance also seemed to frequently have dark moods. But whenever I'd make her laugh, she'd tell me that her parents and siblings would never believe that she was capable of laughter... only anger. She was also quite empathic, telling me that she always finds me warm; she can read my emotions from just a touch of my hand. : Robin
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