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Enneagram Type 5 Board Archive Re: momentary lapse of reason...Posted by Heidi on August 14, 2000 at 21:18:35: In Reply to: Re: momentary lapse of reason... posted by Zen Cowgirl on August 14, 2000 at 17:24:36: Zen Cowgirl-- I can be very nuturing to people, too, although I prefer not to spread myself too thin. The majority of my nuturing/emotional response goes toward three people in particular. Limiting the number of people to whom I choose to give love means that I can give them a more concentrated version of it. But it's not only that; finding people who are trustworthy enough to love is next to impossible for me. I hate the knowledge that I am vulnerable and that people have dirt on me. Damned right I fear people knowing personal information about me! I have never been able to escape the possibility that if "it" gets out, it will come and bite me in the ass someday. All that is the ultimate wet blanket to outward nuturing. Belive me, I wish it wasn't so. I know no one lives a blameless life, everyone has skeletons, that the risk of exposure is the chance you take if you want to experience "connection" (blah, blah, blah), but like you said, it's just as nuturing to help people with THEIR dreams and aspirations...and that way, no one gets hurt. Fives do have fear/security issues, and I'm fully aware that I'm not being very original with this line of commentary, but who ever said that nuturing had to be an extroverted thing? Fives are intoverted nurturers for the aforementioned reasons. Avoiding pain is not something I think to be indiginous to fives--isn't that everyone? Why are WE viewed as cold merely because we have (regardless of subtype) a high self-preservation instinct? I started a 5w4 club on yahoo. There's not much going there at present, but there could be. You can get messages by e-mail if you want-- http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/enneagram5w4s
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