Re: tomboys??

Posted by Laurence on August 15, 2000 at 08:47:15:

In Reply to: tomboys?? posted by jen on August 13, 2000 at 19:42:25:

Thanks for this sensitive and sensible post where I find myself 100%, so there is little to add. I could write quite endlessly on stereotypes, their roots, the damage they induce, etc... This would be another valuable thread. Breaking stereotypes takes a toll but it's every bit worth it.

: This is a fascinating thread I just stumbled onto... as a female 5 (6 wing) Ive most certainly encountered all the same feelings as you, Heidi... at this point in my life, I feel completely comfortable with being who I am, which includes being very confident and "calm, cool, and collected" as the saying goes.. which is usually the "mans job" to be the strong leader and the womans to be nuturing and emotional. Yes, I feel emotions, and deep down they are very strong indeed. Yes I am nuturing, I feel a world of warmth and compassion for not only those I am close to, but to those I somehow identify with and/or empathise with... and at this point in my life, it no longer bothers me at all that I do still somtimes hear "thats not very lady like" (and yes! is it harder to hear it from a woman.. why are they more an expert than me? am I not a legitimate female?).. as well the attitude (which comes usually from the male crowd) that any exhibition of confidence or analytical thinking makes me unfeminine. Somehow, I no longer care about any of it, not so much by figuring everyone is pretty much jealous (which is probably the case too..) but because I have (thankfully) encountered people, and been in relationships, where who I am has been considered very very appropriatelyt feminine.. and now most of the people in my life view this issue the same way I do.. and those who dont agree, or like to apply gender role stereotypes, they elicit more pity from me than anything else..

: However, when I was younger, it was a different story. Around junior high age.. when the girls were discovering boys and makeup and the whole experience of what it is to be a "woman"... I was having nothing to do with it. Well, the makeup part. Sure I got involved with boys, but at the same time, I was the girl who was mostly friends with boys as well, didnt wear makeup, didnt really have close frienships with many girls, not of my own choice of corse, but m,ainly because my 5 personality just didnt sit right with the other girls who werent somewhat like myself. And back then, it bothered me.. I didnt know why it was.. all I knew was that I was starting to feel that girls made crappy friends and the boys in my life.. friends and romantic, meant worlds more than the girls. It took me a while to get over that stereotype, and I have now.. but even still, I find that some of my closest friendships are with men, (there are some very special female friends in my life too, of course)

: Were any of you other female 5s at all like me? Any other past tomboys out there? Ive found this common among the other female 5s Ive talked to, though they arent many.
: thoughts?

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