Bad info or just mis-info?

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: : I'm a 5 with a strong 4 wing, and when I was going through all of the turbulence of adolescence and young adulthood, I acted more like a 4 than a 5. : *** If the Enneagram's personality system had anything whatsoever to do with "acting," then what you said might have made sense. Unfortunately, it doesn't. And thus, it doesn't. : : For several years, I thought I was a 4 with a 5 wing. When I was a young child, however, my 5 tendencies were *very* marked, and as I headed into my mid- and late-20s I returned--without really trying--to acting like a 5. : Once again, zero sense in that statement. The Enneagram of personality types is not about the way we "act," and (for heaven's sake!) it's even less about other people's shallow, flukish perceptions of us. : : I do have some 4 tendencies--creativity, intuition, the occasional mood swings, and I'm known to some people for being artsy and eccentric. But the 5 frame of mind--that habit of detatching and analyzing--prevails. : *** You're describing the Myers-Briggs "Intuitive" function. : : I do have very intense and turbulent emotional life, which had me convinced I was a 4 until I realized that nobody else I knew had a clue about it! : *** See my comment above about the implications of the typing system. The way other people see us (most of which is self-projection on their part) has nothing to do with it. A smart Five like you oughta know! : : Though I can be temperamental, most people I know see me as being rather cool and laid-back, because I rarely show what's going on beneath the surface. That I see myself as being overly emotional while everyone else thinks I'm a wee bit frosty sounds pretty darn 5-ish to me! : *** People who are a wee bit frosty don't necessarily seem like Fives at all. They just seem a wee bit frosty. Assumptions like that have their roots in vulgar bigotry. And vulgar bigrotry is thoughtless. : : I also have a rather disconcerting tendency to be *extremely* analytical, even at the same time I am feeling intense emotions.... : *** Sorry to hear about your cat. I love cats, you know. : : I think the 4 manner of dealing with such a terrible event would have been to let the grief show in a much more outward fashion, without the simultaneous "rational dialogue." My mother wanted to help me bury Simon, and as a 4 I probably would have let her do so, and talked and grieved and wailed about it while we worked. As it was, I knew I couldn't stand to have another human there while I dug the grave, even as sympathetic a one as my mother. I needed to be alone to process it in my own head, to think about it and feel what I was feeling without the distraction of someone trying to say the "right things" to comfort me. For me, there was comfort in getting the hole dug right and burying my cat, alone. Which to a 4 probably sounds unbearably cold! But it was this sort of thing that made me realize about seven years ago that I was not actually a 4 at all, but a 5. : *** I may have to modify what I said about behavior. Perhaps there is a connection after all, because I've NEVER seen a Four do ANYTHING like your nominal "Four version" in my life. Read the Enneagram book authors who, even from the standpoint of popular behaviorism (largely inappropriate and limited in its applicability), will still contradict your assertion. From the TAS assessment instrument for Fours in <i>The Wisdom of the Enneagram</i>: "Generally, I don't enjoy working to closely with others." From p. 186: "Fear of rejection can lead Social Fours to withdraw almost completely from involvement with others." If I were in a delicate situation that demanded great reverence, such as burying a pet, I might rather do it alone for fear of jarring criticism, or for fear of being mishandled by callous people ("When criticized or misunderstood, I tend to withdraw and sulk." -TAS, type 4), or for my intolerance for other people's lack of reverence, or for their apathy. Think about it: do emotions like that play a part in your decision... er, behavior? :) : : That said, what makes you think of yourself as one or the other? What part of 4 "speaks to you?" : *** All of it. : : And where do you see yourself fitting in as a 5? : *** I don't even understand them. They make good drinking buddies, though. Too bad I don't drink. : : You might also hit the 4 Board and see if what the people over there say resonates more or less than what you find here. : *** Their fickle angst goes nowhere, and their pretentious "niceness" is grating. Of course, most of them have a 5 wing, while mine is 3. Also, most of them use Perceiving as their primary extraverted function, while I juse Judging. : Sincerely, : Me, myself, and I

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