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Enneagram Type 5 Board Archive i'm with liz on this one...Posted by isaac on June 25, 2001 at 10:55:48: In Reply to: Oh fucking hell... posted by Elizabeth on June 24, 2001 at 22:34:09: ryan, i've had my experience bonding more than i was happy with. at one point, i thought i wanted love, and i was confused about the difference between love the bond and love the feeling. i felt the feeling, and thought i had the bond. and i liked the feeling, so i became attached to the bond. it's a stupid and painful and miserable lot. you end up stuck to a needy 9 or 2 or 4 who has no appreciation whatsoever for your independence. the feeling of romantic love is a quickly fleeting phantom. without friendship, genuine friendship APART from the so-called "true love", you're bound for trouble. if you're just looking for a bond, you'll find the easiest person around to bond with. liz is absolutely 100% on point with this. 5s don't need to lean on our wing. no one does. i'm sorry, ryan, about 5 years ago i would have agreed with you, but that is the worst advice for 5s that everyone seems to think is so great. in order to integrate, you need to unite the wing archetype with the base archetype, and move towards the INTEGRATING type. 8 represents control over the environment, instinctual gut-oriented action, and powerful confident leadership. when people just lean on their wing, they're annoying people. they suck at doing whatever it is they're doing, and they are pretending to be something they're not. leaning on your wing is a huge impediment to integration that everyone needs to get over. that sort of behavior is typical of average to unhealthy people who lack the gumption to go for full-out disintegration.
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