Posted by isaac on July 21, 2001 at 15:21:13:
In Reply to: Re: smoking posted by developer on July 21, 2001 at 13:51:28:
i've made a similar decision, and currently am a regular niccotine user. really, it's not just that the decision is made with the emotions. for me, it wasn't any more than any other decisions. but the physical reality of health considerations is often the furthest thing from a 5's mind; when weighing pros and cons, that's just a feather on the scale.
i started smoking originally as a game, to prove to myself that i could beat it. we have wicked willpower, we 5s, and it's fun to test it. i love addictive substances because there's an internal mental game to be played against hte body. also, i wanted the experience of being a regular smoker so that i could appreciate what others see in it. i smoked for about a year and ahalf, then quit for 4. i quit cold turkey. and while i was conquering the physical addiction, i satiated the habit by smoking non-niccotine substances. quitting was such ridiculous fun. oh, my god, it was awesome. there is such powerful beauty in a desire unsatiated; and niccotine is a crazily powerful desire. from the 5 pov, if i can need less, if i can be distanced from my desires, then i am strong. i can survive in any situation. it wasn't at ALL easy.
normally when people start smoking after stopping for a while, it's becasue they "slip". you get drunk or something, and start to think, "oh, well, i'll just have this one, that's all." or you find yuourself in the gas station about to purchase a pack, and then suddenly remember that you quit. i never did that stuff. not once. but i certainly did feel the urge to. when i started again, it was a premeditated decision, and i went back to it 100%. i LIKE having nic fits. i LIKE the thrill in putting off satisfying them until it's almost unbearable, and the rush of pleasure when my body gets what it wants. i like having another "safe" stimulant on hand besides caffiene. in order to maintain my cardiovascular abilities, i've been hiking and biking a lot more since i started smoking again, and in that way, smoking has been an excuse to put some more muscle on my body. but the health concerns beyond my here-and-now abilitites are not important to me at all; i quit because it was too expensive. in order to counteract the monetary cost, i stopped ordering chinese food, which had become a $20/week habit.
and there is the bond thing. a smoker always has an in if he wants to strike up a conversation with another smoker. "got a light?" not to mention that smoking *cloves* is just a delightful batch of happiness. they're sweet and htey crackle and they're smooth and they just taste so damn good. plus, the distinctive smell gives other smokers an in to talk to me. "hey, is that a clove?" "yeah, want one?" bam. conversation started. they've told me that we have a common interest, and i've shown them that i'm a generous person. it's a beautiful thing, especially for someone who is naturally very reserved.
but, most of all, the reason i started was to indulge in quitting once again some time in the future when i get sick of it.
isaac