Posted by Ryan on July 21, 2001 at 19:55:50:
In Reply to: addiction to quitting = power trip galore! posted by isaac on July 21, 2001 at 15:21:13:
Interesting stuff:
To Developer: I'm a 5w4. The 4 wing certainly contributes to a feeling of wanting to be cool, unique and defining oneself. I didn't smoke as much to play mental games with myself like Isaac seems to enjoy doing. It wasn't a logical decision although I used logic to defend the decision at the time. I don't think 5w4s are as "vulcan-like" as 5w6s can be, and even that type I think would tend to smoke in order to stave off anxiety or to fit in with others (the latter being one of the original reasons I started smoking, as I contend I have a secondary 6 wing).
Not every 5 lives life as perfectly as possible using all their logical powers. I don't think 5s analyze all their actions each time they perform one. If we did we'd be indistinguishable from 1s. :) Seriously, I don't think I considered the logical implications of being addicted to smoking until 6 months after I had been doing so. We can't think about everything at every possible time. We're not supercomputers. We just think more than the other types do.
Also, all logic is based on "feeling" somehow. The logical arguments against smoking are based upon the FEELING that pain and death are bad things and they aren't worth the good feeling and the "looking cool-ness" that smoking gives one. There are no logical absolutes. And as I said before, when I was in college the harms of smoking were a long ways away and therefore quite minimized in harm. I felt I could quit smoking anytime I wanted to (and of course I was mostly correct as I have quit smoking).
And the reason I quit, you ask: Well, my girlfriend (who eventually became wife and ex-wife) didn't like smoking, and wouldn't have dated me if I did smoke. Since I was in love with her so much it was easy to quit. Love aside, it was quite an easy choice between cigarettes and sex. Who knows, if I had fallen in love with a fellow smoker I might still be smoking to this day.
To Isaac: That's interesting. I had started my smoking "habit" by smoking cloves. They got too harsh for me so I became a tobacco user. I don't think I ever experienced any kind of physical addiction at all to smoking. I've never had cravings. In fact, I'd characterize my personality on a whole as an extremely "non-addictive" personality. I jump from interest to interest quite easily, and smoking was basically just another "interest" to me. It was something to be explored and once explored there was and still is nothing new to attract me to do it again.
You sound like some kind of mental masochist with your talk of enjoying withdrawal. I don't know if I enjoy that kind of feeling myself. I get a much bigger rush out of finding something new and cool to spend my time learning about and exploring than I do trying to force myself to stop doing something. All the things I continue to have an interest in (the internet, comics and animation, soccer, etc) are things I have a good reason to be interested in. I don't have a good reason to start up smoking again. It was a "college thing" and not really suitable for my life right now (ie the people smoking outside of the building I work in right now look pretty pathetic). Maybe you'll change your thinking once you're out of college too. Of course, you do see life a bit differently than I do considering I've never really had any truly positive experiences with marijuana while you seem to think it's the cure to the world's problems. But I suppose, whatever you enjoy. You seem to have a pretty happy well-adjusted life and I've never been one to impose my way of thinking on others.
Ryan
: i've made a similar decision, and currently am a regular niccotine user. really, it's not just that the decision is made with the emotions. for me, it wasn't any more than any other decisions. but the physical reality of health considerations is often the furthest thing from a 5's mind; when weighing pros and cons, that's just a feather on the scale.
: i started smoking originally as a game, to prove to myself that i could beat it. we have wicked willpower, we 5s, and it's fun to test it. i love addictive substances because there's an internal mental game to be played against hte body. also, i wanted the experience of being a regular smoker so that i could appreciate what others see in it. i smoked for about a year and ahalf, then quit for 4. i quit cold turkey. and while i was conquering the physical addiction, i satiated the habit by smoking non-niccotine substances. quitting was such ridiculous fun. oh, my god, it was awesome. there is such powerful beauty in a desire unsatiated; and niccotine is a crazily powerful desire. from the 5 pov, if i can need less, if i can be distanced from my desires, then i am strong. i can survive in any situation. it wasn't at ALL easy.
: normally when people start smoking after stopping for a while, it's becasue they "slip". you get drunk or something, and start to think, "oh, well, i'll just have this one, that's all." or you find yuourself in the gas station about to purchase a pack, and then suddenly remember that you quit. i never did that stuff. not once. but i certainly did feel the urge to. when i started again, it was a premeditated decision, and i went back to it 100%. i LIKE having nic fits. i LIKE the thrill in putting off satisfying them until it's almost unbearable, and the rush of pleasure when my body gets what it wants. i like having another "safe" stimulant on hand besides caffiene. in order to maintain my cardiovascular abilities, i've been hiking and biking a lot more since i started smoking again, and in that way, smoking has been an excuse to put some more muscle on my body. but the health concerns beyond my here-and-now abilitites are not important to me at all; i quit because it was too expensive. in order to counteract the monetary cost, i stopped ordering chinese food, which had become a $20/week habit.
: and there is the bond thing. a smoker always has an in if he wants to strike up a conversation with another smoker. "got a light?" not to mention that smoking *cloves* is just a delightful batch of happiness. they're sweet and htey crackle and they're smooth and they just taste so damn good. plus, the distinctive smell gives other smokers an in to talk to me. "hey, is that a clove?" "yeah, want one?" bam. conversation started. they've told me that we have a common interest, and i've shown them that i'm a generous person. it's a beautiful thing, especially for someone who is naturally very reserved.
: but, most of all, the reason i started was to indulge in quitting once again some time in the future when i get sick of it.
: isaac