Posted by Paul the Pharmacist on July 23, 2001 at 08:26:21:
In Reply to: My Father posted by Matt on July 23, 2001 at 02:30:22:
: In the last week I have spent a lot of time with him because I have built him a new office at his work (I'm not a builder or a carpenter, and I have the bruises to prove it!). Part of the problem is that (asside from a minor publication) I don't have anything to do at the moment because I'm waiting to start a PhD. After 4 years of study I find that all the things I grew to dislike in other people are all his characteristics. I didn't realise that this was happening at the time, but I find it hard to cope with the feelings that I'm having: I dislike him, yet I love him because he's my dad. He is so proud of me and my achievements, and I'm disgusted at my feelings to the extent that my insomnia has returned. We seemed to get on much better when I was 150 miles away in London, and we only communicated on the phone or by email. I can't wait to go back, but I hate the way I feel. This isn't going to go away, and I need help to learn to cope with it.
I think there is a bit of guilt here. If you want to get bibical (we once al had a nice little chat about logic and religion) the ten commandmans tells us to HONOR our parents. There is no injunction telling us to love or like them. You cant choice who you are going to love or like. You canconciously choose to SHOW respect whether you feel it or not
Paul