Posted by Matt on July 23, 2001 at 13:40:17:
In Reply to: Re: My Father posted by Paul the Pharmacist on July 23, 2001 at 08:26:21:
: I think there is a bit of guilt here. If you want to get bibical (we once al had a nice little chat about logic and religion) the ten commandmans tells us to HONOR our parents. There is no injunction telling us to love or like them. You cant choice who you are going to love or like. You canconciously choose to SHOW respect whether you feel it or not
: Paul
Yes, I feel very guilty because it's a betrayal. I don't think I've ever had to act in a way that isn't in line with my feelings, having led quite a sheletered life, this feels like (well, it is) lying and I hate it. My world is a rather strange mix, but it's also an honest place and I like it that way. I don't want lies to exist close to me, but to tell him the truth would break his heart - I can't do that.
Thank you for your replies. Things seem a little clearer now that I've sobered up. Writing to this board has helped me to order and formalise my thoughts in a way that I wasn't expecting, even though I haven't written everything I'm feeling.
Thanks,
Matt