be honest, be direct.

Posted by isaac on July 31, 2001 at 11:06:44:

In Reply to: fives in relationships... posted by milena on July 31, 2001 at 08:52:14:

i have. it's tough. the hard part in expressing emotion, i've found, is that often i don't KNOW what i feel. cheesy and stupid as it may sound, you should get in touch with what you feel for the other. really take some alone time to delve into that. and, once you figure out how you really feel about it, what you really want from the relationship, and what messages you want to express, just get some backbone and say it straight out. 5s generally aren't that good at emotional signals. unless, of course, it's observing signals that 2 other people send eachother. but if we're directly involved in the communication, we choke. we don't know how to send the message we want, and we're never sure what to make of messages anyone else sends.

the way i get around that is by just saying simply what's on my mind. if you tell the truth, your relationship will be happier in the long run. of course, before you can be honest with someone else about your feelings, you've gotta be honest with yourself about them. if someone asks you point blank and you can't come up with a response, just say that you're not sure and you have to think about it. then get back to them later about it; whatever you do, don't blow it off unless you mean to piss the person off. (which is a perfectly valid motivation, and that's one of the best ways to accomplish it.) people like hearing the truth. and people that don't are liars that you probably wanna chase away.

: Also, how do you show you care on a daily basis...I seem to have problems with this also...most of the time I think I'm expressing myself and think everything is okay, only to find out my actions and words have been completely misinterpreted...any advice anyone?

again, you just have to get in touch with your feelings. (god, i'm reading what i'm saying, and i feel like a damned new age advice manual...) but it's true. you can't show you care unless you DO care. if you're spending a lot of your thinking on another person, then oppertunities to show you like them will just present themselves. and the more honest and direct you are, the better it'll be. "you're great and i really care about you" is pretty hard to misinterpret. keep your attention on the other person, and you'll likely see plenty of oppertunity to be considerate. need to think and do and feel HERE and NOW in order to dothat, tho.

in short, act like an 8.

isaac

Follow Ups:

• Re: be honest, be direct. Jeff 14:47:28 07/31/01 (4)
  • Re: be honest, be direct. Matt 19:40:43 07/31/01 (3)
    • Re: be honest, be direct. Jeff 00:59:56 08/01/01 (2)
      • Re: be honest, be direct. milena 16:31:45 08/01/01 (1)
        • Re: be honest, be direct. Matt 16:43:28 08/01/01 (0)

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