Posted by RoTtEn ApPlE on August 04, 2001 at 21:45:56:
In Reply to: Re: fives in relationships... posted by lenee on August 04, 2001 at 19:07:09:
: Are there other Intimate Variant Fives like me who, in spite of an overall style of detachment, actually can get "overattached" in intimate relationships? I'm often the one who gets upset if I don't hear back from the other person fast enough! So when I read how other Fives feel, I think "maybe I'm not a Five" but I really believe I am. Though I certainly tend to withdraw when things feel "too close", I can't really relate to not getting attached--And though I have been characterized as coming across as aloof all my life, I can't really relate to the inner experience of not wanting connection--four wing or intimate subtype influences? Just curious if there are other Fives who feel the same way.
>>>Um, yeah... not the part of myself I really like to talk about but there is an element of my character that is INTENSELY interested in connecting with someone very deeply and personally... and INTENSELY frightened of such a connection at the same time. This is the same part of my personality that used to cause me to intentionally burn myself and cut off all my hair to the scalp. I monitor this aspect of my character closely and try to manage the way I express and release it. When I feel I'm getting too close to someone I often panic and back off... more often by creating situations or saying things that encourage distance. Not healthy behavior. I'm TRYING to find the ability to be vulnerable without becoming a borderline nutcase... but that is gonna take time.