li'l monster

Posted by isaac on August 05, 2001 at 02:31:02:

In Reply to: Ah, the monster within... posted by RoTtEn ApPlE on August 04, 2001 at 21:45:56:

well, liz, you've done it again. i've said the same so many times about my past love-life. well done. thats the same monster that has cajoled me into dating one nine after another. i've found the monster gets alot more devious when you're lying to yourself. its' easy to get into a habit of thinking that you don't need anyone. after a while, johnny gets pissed, and you either kill someone or get into an aweful codependent rut. i'd usually choose the second option, but i've gotten away from that, permanently i hope. the first is still a lingering danger, but it's fun to use the monster's energy for other things. if you're cool with him, you can really be so balsy and out-there so easily all teh time.

it's a hard lesson for a 5 to learn, i think, to not be afraid of anything that goes on in your own head. especially since we just *don't look at* the parts that scare us, so we don't even think they're there! when you throw other crap in the closet, the monster gets crowded, and that pisses 'im off. so the need to connect with others has to be recognized, but without compromising the oh-so-crucial personal buffer space. the tough part about that is that it means you have to connect with people that HAVE nice firm boundaries, and they're not usually easy targets! (i want a girl with nice firm um... boundaries. yeah.) the people that truly *respect* (not just admire!) a strong ego are usually the people with strong egos; and since they're not lacking backbone, they don't cling to anyone else's.

if yer a 5, you can't do better than to find a nice void-type mate that just adores your company but doesn't wanna change you. watch for their monster. if they don't think they have one, run far and fast.

isaac

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