Posted by Jeff on August 06, 2001 at 15:21:57:
In Reply to: Re: fives in relationships... posted by Jen on August 05, 2001 at 13:38:53:
: Id have to say that as far as Ive seen, 5s are a pretty non verbal group.. at least when we're decently healthy. Relationships can exist almost entirely in a nonverbal way and be just as intimate as one where the people are always saying "I love you" ever ten minutes. Which is why my biggest suggestion is to simply do what you feel... this is really hard.. but Ive become comfortable with it, and hopefully whoever youre with, you feel comfortable doing it with them.. it is what makes the difference in really becoming close with someone. You need to feel like you can just do what youre feeling.. even something as simple as during a conversation thats completely non sexual or watching a random tv show, even though we fives like to keep our things compartmentalized, sometimes it just strikes me that I love this person so much, so you lean in and kiss them. Or whatever, things like that. Im usually pretty terrified that if we arent in that sort of "being close" mode, that any sort of touching or whatever will be seen as inappropriate or untimely, and I think a lot of 5s have this unconcious mentality, probably in part because we ourselves dont like to have someone being touchy or whatever when were trying to give a dissertation.. but I its been one of the most helpful things in my life to feel ok with letting the nonverbal aspect of a relationship be free to exist at all times.
: I dont know. Im still a 5 and its hard for me to explain. I hope what I was trying to say up there was semi coherent.
: heh
: Jen
Perhaps all those issues of 5's dealing with someone that needs constant verbal assurances to make sure we didn't stop loving them overnight is really a sign that they aren't the right person in the first place.