I hate whiny temperamental teenage girls

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: I first became acquainted with Mr. Belvedere in the fall of 1985. I was a young man in college, exploring his homosexual side when suddenly I was delighted to see such a big manly stud on TV! No, not ALAN THICKE! I'm talking about Mr. Belvedere! At this time in my life I was having wild, promiscuous gay sex with some guys in college and while I was getting shagged in the arse by a frat brother, I fantasized it was Mr. Belvedere. -- Nick B. : It wasn't until the fourth season of Mr. Belvedere that I discovered my gay identity. I was about 12 at the time, and always found it curious that I wasn't terribly attracted to girls. Every other boy I knew was into them, but they just didn't excite me. Well, I was watching Mr. Belvedere one Friday night that they showed Mr. Belvedere in the kitchen and he put a cake in the oven. When the cake was ready, he bent over to take it out. And the camera gave me a wonderful dead-on view of some thick juicy Belvederean ass. I mean, it was overbursting with plumpness. I felt my penis become erect. Luckily, I was a big Belvedere fan and I taped that episode that night. Well, around after midnight with everyone in bed fast asleep, I snuck downstairs and watched the clip again and again and again. That was the night I first masturbated and successfully ejaculated. Thank you Mr. Belvedere for opening up my sexuality! -- Eric C. : I remember being 7 or 8 watching Mr. Belvedere, and just fantasizing I was Wesley. I envied Wesley so much! To be there, alone with Mr. Belvedere......oooooh that boy shoulda took advantage of that situation! For Halloween I was Wesley. People thought I was obsessed with Wesley because I thought he was cool...in reality I was just so horny for Mr. Belvedere. -- Patrick S. : During the final season, I was a key grip on the set of Mr. Belvedere. All the wild gay sex stories are true, except for Bob Uecker. Despite what you may hear, the guy is Straight. Sorry. Still, there was more than one embarrassing situation where I walked in on Belvedere, Wesley, and Kevin engaged in a "sodomy train" with Belvedere being the mighty big caboose. Sometimes I felt alerted to tell the authorities about Belvedere and the boys' gay sex romps, but then I remembered, it wasn't child rape at all. That Wesley wanted it real bad. I'll never forget the time I took him into a janitor closet and made him get on his knees and beg to suck me. He wanted to be my cum slut. So I gave it to Wesley. Up his tight little ass. Me and Belvedere...we got that Wesley ass. Hell yea we did. -- Jason L. : I was a gay escort, hired by Mr. Belvedere in 1986. He was really ruthless in his anal sex. While I prefer to have a penis caked in lubricant gently pushed into my anus, that Belvedere was really raw. He just spit in his hand, rubbed it on his dick and shoved it into me. It really hurt me bad. When he pulled out my ass was bleeding pretty bad. I called him a bitch. However, to his credit, he did treat me with some bandages and give me an extra tip. -- Mitchell H. : I was a director of a porn movie titled Mr. Beaverdere, which came out around '88 or so. Halfway through the filming, Mr. Belvedere HIMSELF shows up at the set, obviously irate about this mockery of his show. I try to talk him down, but the man is furious. He threatened to sue my company for millions...unless he was able to sodomize our lead male star, Johnny Hardcore. Johnny was real pissed off about this. Johnny was straight and was used to buttfucking women, not being buttfucked himself. Well, ol' Belvedere shut Johnny up real fast. He shoved his 9 inches of Belvederean Meat into Johnny's mouth and told him to "SUCK IT ALL YOU INDIGNANT LITTLE TWERP!" in his English accent. After sucking it red for a while, Belvedere flipped Johnny over and pounded him until the cows came home. -- Vinnie T. : During the '70s, way before Mr. Belvedere's show came into our homes, Mr. Belvedere made a name for himself doing Broadway plays and fucking rock stars. He even claimed to have buttfucked David Bowie, Mick Jagger, and Freddie Mercury all in one night in 1977, although Mercury is the only confirmed one. Bowie said "no comment" about any relationship with Mr. Belvedere and Jagger flat-out denied it but admitted "anything is possible during a cocaine rush". I once saw him at a party in London where he had some 12 year old southeast Asian boy sucking him off. No one seemed to care. -- Gerald M. : There's a rumor that Bob Uecker's 8 year old son visited the set of Mr. Belvedere where the "Belv" decided to give him a "backstage tour". Turns out the Belv forced Uecker's son to give oral sex to Brice Beckham while he took pictures. This didn't come out years later until Uecker's son was in therapy. I was a police officer who investigated the case, and while Mr. Belvedere was never formally charged, I swear on my mother's grave that I know he did it. That sick monster! -- Leon B. : During the 1940's, I was at a boarding school with Mr. Belvedere. He was the captain of the rugby team. Quite a big mean fellow. You never would've thought he was queer. Still, his locker room antics were extraordinary. He once got six of us to line up in a "sodomy train" (the man LOVED sodomy trains!) after a game. He was always dropping the soap in the shower. He would ask us to pick it up for him. If we refused, he would throw us against the wall and rape us. -- Edgar K. : In 1996, I was the boyfriend of Brice Beckham, the actor who played Wesley. The sex between us was passionate and intense, but the only qualm I had about it is that he insisted I role-play as Mr. Belvedere. I am a rather large gentleman (250 lbs) and about 30 years older than Brice, so I wondered if he sought me as a substitute for his true love, Mr. Belvedere. He demanded that I grow a mustache. In bed, he would cry out "BELVEDERE!" as I pummeled his ass. Eventually I had to leave him for another younger man. -- Joseph P. : I have no shame in saying I was one of "Belvedere's bitches", as he liked to refer to us, back in the late 1980's. It's strange that no one has yet mentioned the ENORMOUS QUANTITY of Belvedere's cum. I've been sexually active with over 60 gay men and not one of them came close to spewing out as much as Belvedere ever did. He could fill a 12 oz aluminum can with ease. I loved giving him oral sex but once I had to go to the ER to get my stomach pumped because of the excessive amount of semen that Mr. Belvedere pumped into me. -- Matthew R. : Lynn may have had many lovers but I was his favorite. From 1982-1990 I was his live-in boyfriend at his Hollywood Hills bungalow dubbed by the gay community as "New Sodom". While Belvedere openly cheated on me during the years I remained faithful to the man I loved. However, I can contest to this: I am one of the extremely lucky few men that got to fuck Belvedere in the ass. He was a notorious "top" but for me he would "bottom" a couple times. While it was hard trying to squeeze my penis between his gargantuan butt cheeks, his anus was soft and delicate. It was a special act between me and Belvedere. It wasn't sex, it was making love. Sadly, in 1990 when is show was canceled he went through a long depression and left me. I sued him for palimony and in 1994 I won the home! -- Tom J. : It ain't much, but I can at least say that I sucked off Mr. Belvedere in a subway restroom in the early '70s. This was back when he was doing Broadway. I only knew the guy for thirty minutes but those were the best thirty minutes of my lifetime. -- Greg A. : I was one of the directors for the hit series "Mr. Belvedere". However, my informal job was procurer of young meat for the Belv. I would cruise West Hollywood and Santa Monica after midnight, looking for some hot young teenage stud. I'd pick him up and ask him if he was interested in having sex with Mr. Belvedere. Every single one gave an affirmative. So, I'd take these young men back to Belvedere's place...take them into Belv's bedroom where he would be waiting naked on satin sheets...then quickly exit and close the door. -- Martin S. : Sippin' a Long Island ice tea in a Miami gay bar, I notice a man enter who looked extremely familiar. He bore an uncanny resemblance to Mr. Belvedere. "Hey, aren't you..." "NO!" he shot back. Thing was, even his voice sounded like Mr. Belvedere's. I bought him a drink, I got a little more drunk, and the next thing I knew I was in the 3rd bathroom stall licking his asshole. He shot his cum all over my face. I don't remember anything after that. -- Kevin H. : Mr. Belvedere approached me at a gay bar. He asked I was seeking a master. Well, I am a very effiminate, submissive Black man and here is this powerful gastropod of raw, sweaty, middle-aged masculine sexuality. I could not resist! So I went back to his place and we proceeded to play a game of "Master and Slave". He was the master, and I was his young Negro slave. He bought me for a penny then threw me to the ground and raped me in the asshole. It was the roughest, most intense punishment I ever got! He proceeded to then piss all over my face and take a dump on me. He then made me lick his dirty asshole clean. This went on for hours. I have never felt so much pain...and pleasure...in my entire life. -- Cyrus B.

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