Please analyze me

Posted by Lucid dreamer on October 18, 2000 at 21:31:18:

I don't know about other 5 types/subtypes, but I live most my real life in my dreams as opposed to the awake hours.

I have lucid dreams.
I dream "hard" and vigorous.
Mostly about war.

And it's aftermath.

Air raids, landmines, bomb raids, fire, explosions, tanks, guns, weapons, shattered buildings, depleted towns, empty streets, evacuated, abandoned, in flight, extreme.

Never dream of anyone being "close" with/to me, only vaguely remember others.

They are either in the background, standing around, maybe waiting in line, passing me a ticket, or running about there own ways somehow,

Usually deserted, the places I go.

Sometimes it not war. It's peace time, but still, there's always that pending doom of terror about to reign once ahead.

I'm always on the run.
Always from one place to the next.
Can't ever seem to get away to a place nice and comfortable enough.
With people.
That I love, trust, care about, and know.

My childhood home in my dreams I go to is an empty graveyard.

My dreams are usually deserted.
Devoid of people, community, connectedness, belongingness,

Only empty, quiet, deserted places, with no names, no faces, and yet,

it is this that I live for.
This, my dreams, my dreams of terror,
sheer terror,
emptiness,

I find I am at least getting somewhere, making some progress somehow, someway, because I am always on the move, and I can move fast in my dreams, unlike I can in real life

this being always on the run, gives me a sense of accomplishment, I don't get ever from my waking hours

in my "real" world, I have no life, no place, no people I see, I go to, I can be with

Some day I wish...

The wars, the ones where I get shot, stabbed, chased over barbed wires, I get adrenaline from these, I feel "alive", "awake", feels better than after a great physical fitness workout in real life hours,
it's the only time I get a real sense of accomplishiment, and the only time I can move *real* fast, and the only time I can fly

I live to sleep, to dream.
I look forward to sleeping and dreaming, and I always prefer the wars over the end-of-the-wars because the end-of-the-war dreams always leave me feeling so depressed and devoid of life when I wake up. The warring ones at least give me incredible feeling of action, accomplishment, and success (because I never die). (I never get totally "out" though, but at least I never die.)

Anyone else with an addiction to sleep - where your dreams are much better than and give you your real life - and your waking hours are spent in chronic fatigue?

I have more energy in my dreams than I ever get in real life.

I go to sleep to dream to get this adrenaline and energy because I never get it in real life.

Follow Ups:

• Re: Please analyze me (Strong dreams) Sambersil 12:10:20 10/19/00 (14)
  • Nightmares Lucid Dreamer 15:03:46 10/20/00 (13)
    • Re: Nightmares (Second of my own) Sambersil 20:10:57 10/20/00 (5)
      • Massachusetts? Margaret 10:20:24 10/21/00 (4)
        • Gee, how relevant [nt] Sambersil 16:26:15 10/21/00 (3)
          • but - Margaret 05:00:48 10/22/00 (2)
            • Different parts of Massachusetts look different. For one thing, we are in a PINE forest, no leaves in the conventional sense. (nt) Sambersil 22:04:47 10/23/00 (1)
              • Outside 128 perhaps? 495, maybe? Amherst?, Berkshires, even? Cod almighty! 01:05:23 10/27/00 (0)
    • Re: Nightmares (one of my own) Sambersil 16:16:38 10/20/00 (5)
      • Re: Nightmares (one of my own) Nyks 13:08:11 10/24/00 (0)
      • NLP in dreams LD 16:55:27 10/20/00 (3)
        • Re: NLP in dreams Sambersil 18:57:46 10/20/00 (2)
          • the greatest nightmare of all LD 10:03:39 10/21/00 (0)
          • Re: NLP in dreams Laurence 07:38:45 10/21/00 (0)
    • also Lucid D 15:09:22 10/20/00 (0)
• OK. This is my opinion. K.B. 02:57:45 10/19/00 (2)
  • Re: OK. This is my opinion. Lucid D 15:14:08 10/20/00 (1)
    • Re: OK. This is my opinion. K.B. 06:16:13 10/21/00 (0)

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