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Enneagram Type 5 Board Archive Re: Nah...Posted by Bartholomew on November 05, 2001 at 18:03:41: In Reply to: Nah... posted by Emily on November 05, 2001 at 13:47:57: : Baylen, the kid that cut Annie, always does it and gets in trouble all the time, while Annie is probably the sweetest little 2nd grader I've ever known. I saw the end of the incident out of the corner of my eye, and Baylen ended up moving back into his place. : Don't underestimate kids. It's based on EXPERIENCE. I have memories dating back to before my first year - I thought they were dreams until a year or two ago when I saw the actual places again. I had a very vivid early childhood. My recollection is that adult reprimands like that, that call upon the self to punish the self, just don't work. They are too confusing to really mean anything. The only thing that really mattered to me was being "included." Baylen, you say, does this frequently. Does this indicate a well-developed conscience on his part? The answer, of course, is "no." Guilt just isn't a part of Baylen's world concept. Incidentally, I have a case that nearly matches this. When I was in my first year of preschool, I used to make elaborate towers and buildings out of blocks. Then a group of kids would come running over and kick them to pieces. I was so frustrated I would often break into tears. The teacher would yell at them from a distance, but she wouldn't get up or do anything. On or just before Thanksgiving (we were making construction paper feathers for turkeys), my dad took me out of the class. Last year, I was talking with Greg Colligan, a guy in my art class. It turned out that he was one of the kids who kept knocking over my block towers. He wanted to know if that's why I was "so screwed up". He said that all that he was thinking about was having fun knocking over blocks. Really young kids don't HAVE guilt. It takes time to develop guilt; guilt is based on the belief that there was something bad about the action, and that the person would rather not do that action again. Beliefs aren't instinctual. They have to be learned.
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