Re: trusting others

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: Wow, : You fives are really alien to me. : : I have rarely ever opened myself up to any others because I could never trust anyone. : You could or would never trust anyone? This feels like an issue of control, knowing everything that is to happen before it does, no suprises, no challenges, no willingness for the risk and reward. =( : : And that was the only smartest thing I've ever done. : : Of course until I made my one single dumb mistake. : : I only opened myself up to one person my whole life and that was this past last year. : : Of course that was also the biggest mistake I ever made my whole life. : lol, you will make mistakes that will make this breif hurt appear as nothing but a stubbed toe in the dark on the coffee table. Yes, it hurts. There is nothing so immediate as MY PAIN RIGHT NOW. The pain, the hurt, the suffering is the center of our universe. It is narcissism (sp?) at it's most primal. : : It killed me and my confidence and trust in the idea of "love". I once again, am back to normal, in no longer believing it exists, but only as a figment of one's imagination. : : But this is what I have always believed all along anyway. : : It's just that before, very unlike right now, I never had any real kind of hard, concrete, hard evidence and proof that "romatic, true love" does not really exist after all, but only as a fairy tale, a kind of comic cruel 'joke', that if could ever exist in the first place, only would be nothing but a kind of cruel, evil, bitter trap for the unitiated to get suckered into and learn the hard way. : Is it fair, or just to use this one, singular, individual, (insert more redundant words here) experience as an exhibit in the courtroom of your mind to disprove the concept of love? : : I guess after just one God awful cruel evil experience like this is all one really has to have to learn one's lessons though. : : "Love" as in "true love" does not exist. Only figments of one's imagination does. : : Always beware. : : Keep eyes wide open at all times. : : If you ever risk them shut, you will get stabbed. : : Nailed in the head. : : With a hammer. : Oh! How the cynic rejoices, revel in misery. : What excellent justification for hedonism! : Would but one more soul walk the sociopath, : All for fear of trust. He is proven correct. : yeah, I know my poetry sucks, but I had to respond in kind. ;)

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