Posted by bill on October 26, 2000 at 16:20:57:
In Reply to: Hyperfocus and other people posted by Elizabeth on October 26, 2000 at 14:53:26:
I'm a 5 male, 53 years old, retired scientist; I've never thought I've had
any friends. I have plenty of acquaintances, but no 'friends.' My wife
has pointed out to me that I have many more friends than I think I do.
The interesting part of this is that friendship is a relative term. I
consider a friend someone who I can share inner thoughts easily with;
someone I can trust. My wife is my best and only real friend. I demand
an intensity to the relationship in my mind that I never find in
friendships. I find that males generally make lousy
friends because they cannot maintain their masculinity and share their
inner weaknesses. In addition males tend to avoid depth by substituting
action...which is very boring in my mind. Every gay person I've met is
either very angry or very immature...not for me. My wife is jealous of
women friends I might make, and so I tend to avoid them. In addition I
tend to view other women as sex objects, not good material for genuine
friendship. I am often surprized that many people from my youth, who I
have encountered again later in my life, consider me a friend,
why I do not know. Anyway, my wife says that most people
don't have such high standards for friendship, and consquently many of
the people who I feel I am skimming the surface with would consider me
their friend. This is not very satisfying for me, but there is little
I can do about it. I will probably always feel uncomfortable around
people, because thats the way I am made. I try not to feel depressed about
it all because I know I have a pretty strong 4 wing, and 4's like to wallow
in their misery...as long as I look at it this way I cope pretty well.