Re: Hyperfocus and other people

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: *** Thanks for telling your age, to me it is an important factor for maturity tends to alter our perception. : : The interesting part of this is that friendship is a relative term. I : : consider a friend someone who I can share inner thoughts easily with; : : someone I can trust. My wife is my best and only real friend. I demand : : an intensity to the relationship in my mind that I never find in : : friendships. : *** I can totally apply the statements above to me except that I divorced, left my second soul mate and lives alone since. Yes, true friendship implies trust and intensity for me too, and real openness. I often have the feeling I carry most of my friends at arms length, ie I always have to watch for what I say, so much has to be avoided.... : I find that males generally make lousy : : friends because they cannot maintain their masculinity and share their : : inner weaknesses. : *** I'm a female and most of my best friends are males...No sex involved, but a better "reaching" and more chances to share similar interests. : My wife is jealous of : : women friends I might make, and so I tend to avoid them. : *** Eh, when I was still married, I had male friends I enjoyed having long discussions with, and my husband was better not control how I wished to interact with other people, I knew he could trust me, so what! : Anyway, my wife says that most people : : don't have such high standards for friendship, and consquently many of : : the people who I feel I am skimming the surface with would consider me : : their friend. This is not very satisfying for me, : *** Sure, people belonging to different types are different, have different beliefs, values and expectations, this is in a way so damned logic! We do grow by becoming more flexible and open to differences, but we still need to "go home" regularly and fill up our inner batteries. : but there is little : : I can do about it. : *** No, there is a lot you can do, but this is totally up to you, eh! : I will probably always feel uncomfortable around : : people, because thats the way I am made. : *** No, no, no, you can work on it. I did, it does work and there is nothing to loose, a lot to gain, but it is hard work, and a lot of wonderful new learning, eh.

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