Re: 5's and familial/romantic love

Posted by Primer Gray (208.251.7.66) on August 28, 2002 at 11:18:41:

In Reply to: Re: 5's and familial/romantic love posted by Epoxy (216.166.228.231) on August 28, 2002 at 09:29:51:

> > Indeed...anyone have any helpful hints on extrication from a relationship with a 4w5 who possibly suffers Borderline Personality Disorder? (Yeah, way to hit ALL the 5 fears of unstable and emotional people!)

> there must be 50 ways to leave your lover
> you just slip out the back jack
> make a new plan stan
> don't need to be coy roy
> just listen to me
> you just hop on the bus gus
> don't need to discuss much
> just drop off the key lee
> and get yourself free

> -paul simon

> if you've ever been through break-ups before and look back at them, they all are pretty similar. it's really hard at first, lots of emotions on both sides, and then you just go your separate ways. you both adapt.

yeah, normally that's how they've gone...this is unusual in that there are lucid moments, then raging...seems to really have started cycling like this at the 3 week post breakup mark.

if you're the one doing the breaking up then it means you have already moved on emotionally and so rather than put yourself through the turmoil of direct conflict i personally feel like it's best for everyone involved to just leave as quickly and painlessly as possible. any last-minute fighting and hysterical exchanges amount to exactly squat about 3 weeks later.

Unfortunately, that's when the hysterical exchanges started...would love to not put myself through the turmoil of direct conflict, but she won't have that...if I don't answer the phone, she'll either keep calling until she gives up and drive over and knock on the door...or she'll give up immediately and drop over, under the pretense of "I was driving by and saw your lights on...I just have one quick question for you...." or she'll do both, and then if I don't answer the door, she'll just happen to stop by the neighborhood bars looking for me. All because she wants to ask me more questions about why I didn't consult with her on the breakup...why I didn't warn her that repeated ignoring my boundaries this way and by keeping me up for hours on the phone talking about relationship issue would eventually result in driving me away...that I owe her a "do-over" bearing that information in mind. Me, I'm just gonna go out of town for a couple days. Sheesh.

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