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Enneagram Type 5 Board Archive Re: Increasingly WithdrawnPosted by Amy (64.174.88.154) on September 12, 2002 at 21:05:54: In Reply to: Increasingly Withdrawn posted by Epoxy (216.166.228.231) on September 12, 2002 at 14:48:35: There is an excellent description of the subtypes starting on page 70 of Riso and Hudson's "The Wisdom of the Enneagram" (a good book overall; lots of cool little overviews such as the primary ways each of the types manipulate others; for fives it's by staying preoccupied and by detaching emotionally from others). Instead of "subtypes," Riso/Hudson use the term "instinctual variants." Part of the description in this book states, "On entering a room, Sexual types quickly focus on finding where the most interesting people are. They tend to follow their attractions. By contrast, Social types notice who is talking with the host, who has power, prestige, or who might be able to help them. Self-Preservation types will note the temperature of the room, where the refreshments are, and what might be a comfortable place to sit." The subtypes are even more basic than the types. People who are different types but the same subtype supposedly have more in common with people who are the same type but different subtypes. I also have a difficult time figuring out how to be less withdrawn. When I think about the things I like to do on a regular basis, most of them are solitary. I find it difficult to think of something I truly want to do which involves being with other people. I'm afraid of being "trapped" in a situation which I find boring. Today at my job's weekly staff meeting, I felt a surge of desire to be sociable. I just moved recently, and I invited one of my co-workers (someone I've hung out with from time to time) to come see my new place. He noticed how hyper I was, and I told him how I had been spending a lot of time alone and was feeling like being sociable. Then after we parted I felt a desire to read one of the many books I haven't gotten to yet, to learn something new--maybe as a substitute for socializing, since he had plans for the evening and only hung out with me quite briefly. Fortunately, I live near my sister, and we get together almost every Friday to go shopping, go out to eat, and go to a movie. I don't think I could deal with the amount of seclusion I have apparently chosen for myself if not for that. I'm thinking about joining a book club. One step I've taken is to make much more of an effort to look people in the eyes. This is something which I've tended to find scary because I could feel rejected if even a stranger looked right through me as if I weren't there, but actually doing it hasn't been as bad as I thought. I keep telling myself that I don't have to feel like an outsider, that there are actually people worth connecting with out there. Another of my co-workers, a new one, is a five, too, I'm pretty sure, and I have talked with her about the enneagram. It's fun comparing notes, seeing what we have in common, personality-wise. I'd really like to hang out with her, but she has a husband and four kids, so I'm not sure how much free time she has. But I'm going to talk to her about it soon. Amy
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