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Posted by Anonymous on November 14, 2000 at 18:09:05:

In Reply to: To KB, Anonymous, Laurence, Rotten Apple, birds, others - re: being w/ others vs. being alone posted by Margaret on November 13, 2000 at 19:30:13:

: Thank you KB, Anon, Laurence for your kindness, encouragement, support - I was feeling really down that day, that moment - I guess we all go through those moments - Rotten Apple - you do have a point - that is very realistic good advice, thanks, and true- I *do* confess I really enjoy the security of not putting myself out to risk rejection and -well, actually it's not so much rejection as the reason why I distance myself from others - it's more *lack of power* that makes me push people away or move/ keep myself away from them.

Jeez, I don't think my comment fell under the category of "support" - telling someone who is in a bad mood to have a nice day is not my idea of sympathy. My comment was deliberately callous just for the faint humor value. I can hardly believe that Laurence was being serious either. KB was a little serious at one point in response to the post about the cuckoo birds, but the "wishing you a better tomorrow" stuff is much like my "have a nice day" response. It just makes you feel worse that you AREN'T having a better TODAY, and it doesn't help any.

: I don't want to lose control or power. And more often than not- I always end up feeling that my power, space, leverage, is so minimal and scarce - whenever I risk reaching out to someone- there's always that need to 'keep the distance' with them - lest they step too much in my 'space', and take over what little control and power I have left...

: So basically I know that is the main reason why I am alone more often than not- hard to give up power and space in exchange for not being alone.

: I guess I could have got a better response from others had i structured it more of - any one else feel/deal with the same struggle: being alone with no power/space vs. being powerless (thus helpless) when in th company of another?

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: : Thank you KB, Anon, Laurence for your kindness, encouragement, support - I was feeling really down that day, that moment - I guess we all go through those moments - Rotten Apple - you do have a point - that is very realistic good advice, thanks, and true- I *do* confess I really enjoy the security of not putting myself out to risk rejection and -well, actually it's not so much rejection as the reason why I distance myself from others - it's more *lack of power* that makes me push people away or move/ keep myself away from them. : Jeez, I don't think my comment fell under the category of "support" - telling someone who is in a bad mood to have a nice day is not my idea of sympathy. My comment was deliberately callous just for the faint humor value. I can hardly believe that Laurence was being serious either. KB was a little serious at one point in response to the post about the cuckoo birds, but the "wishing you a better tomorrow" stuff is much like my "have a nice day" response. It just makes you feel worse that you AREN'T having a better TODAY, and it doesn't help any. : : I don't want to lose control or power. And more often than not- I always end up feeling that my power, space, leverage, is so minimal and scarce - whenever I risk reaching out to someone- there's always that need to 'keep the distance' with them - lest they step too much in my 'space', and take over what little control and power I have left... : : So basically I know that is the main reason why I am alone more often than not- hard to give up power and space in exchange for not being alone. : : I guess I could have got a better response from others had i structured it more of - any one else feel/deal with the same struggle: being alone with no power/space vs. being powerless (thus helpless) when in th company of another?

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