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Re: Can you describe some of the bad four behaviours you experienced? I'm curious....n/t

Re: Can you describe some of the bad four behaviours you experienced? I'm curious....n/t

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Posted by Summer on November 16, 2000 at 20:32:18:

In Reply to: Re: Devestation. posted by Perciever on November 15, 2000 at 09:51:01:

: I am an intj 6w5. I have let a few fours go because their behaviors
: were totally unacceptable. Its not just a type thing...its a human
: behavior thing. Who has time to give someone endless understanding?
: Someday they have to grow up and act like a normal human being. Its
: sad but some people just missed the boat and have many pieces missing.
: By the time they are 25 or older how do they get them back?

: I dont really judge relationships by type. Relationships are
: about getting needs fulfilled. There are nine colors this may present
: itself, apparently.

:
:
: : I have been dating an INTJ-Five for about 7 months. He claims that before me, he never knew what intimacy was...indeed, we were able to communicate about difficult emotions and shared much love and affection. His marriage of 18 yeras was to a 9...passionless, but secure and calm for him.

: : he showed "positive" signs of Five attachment such as jealousy, being upset by diagreements, etc. as well as being affectionate, caring, sensual/sexual.

: : Even though I am a Four, it was he who came on strong....asked me to marry him, etc. He would open up, then close down again...he has a Four wing...and boy did I recognize that push-pull, which I have actively fought to resist in myself. Iwas really committed to creating a healthy relationship with him.

: : But now, I am devestated. We have been having to confront where our intimacy really stands and after a tense interaction where I left his house he sends me an email in a day saying he had decided to terminate our romance, end of story. He was so matter of fact, and so "gone." I believe his words.

: : Can Fives really shut down so easily? I cannot cut my love off so easily...I understand the impluse but my emotions don't switch off and down, esp. when I love someone.

: : Insights from Fives, and esp. INTJs, would be greatly apprieciated.
: : Thanks,
: : Sedna

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: : I am an intj 6w5. I have let a few fours go because their behaviors : : were totally unacceptable. Its not just a type thing...its a human : : behavior thing. Who has time to give someone endless understanding? : : Someday they have to grow up and act like a normal human being. Its : : sad but some people just missed the boat and have many pieces missing. : : By the time they are 25 or older how do they get them back? : : I dont really judge relationships by type. Relationships are : : about getting needs fulfilled. There are nine colors this may present : : itself, apparently. : : : : : : : I have been dating an INTJ-Five for about 7 months. He claims that before me, he never knew what intimacy was...indeed, we were able to communicate about difficult emotions and shared much love and affection. His marriage of 18 yeras was to a 9...passionless, but secure and calm for him. : : : he showed "positive" signs of Five attachment such as jealousy, being upset by diagreements, etc. as well as being affectionate, caring, sensual/sexual. : : : Even though I am a Four, it was he who came on strong....asked me to marry him, etc. He would open up, then close down again...he has a Four wing...and boy did I recognize that push-pull, which I have actively fought to resist in myself. Iwas really committed to creating a healthy relationship with him. : : : But now, I am devestated. We have been having to confront where our intimacy really stands and after a tense interaction where I left his house he sends me an email in a day saying he had decided to terminate our romance, end of story. He was so matter of fact, and so "gone." I believe his words. : : : Can Fives really shut down so easily? I cannot cut my love off so easily...I understand the impluse but my emotions don't switch off and down, esp. when I love someone. : : : Insights from Fives, and esp. INTJs, would be greatly apprieciated. : : : Thanks, : : : Sedna

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