|
Enneagram Type 5 Board Archive Re: help with a 5w4 (Is it emotionalism?)Posted by confused (216.86.66.135) on December 02, 2002 at 08:53:27: In Reply to: Re: help with a 5w4 (Is it emotionalism?) posted by Flower Pagan (68.35.114.160) on December 01, 2002 at 22:56:24: Flower Pagan, thanks for your comments. Yes, I have definitely noticed the difference in the 5 mind but it is foreign territory to me as you can tell. That's one of the reasons he and I have had difficulty communicating. He consideres it intrusive, I guess, to talk about anything personal or emotional, prefering the "safety" of non-verbal communication to carry things along. The problem with that is that, especially when two people are just getting to know each other, and the relationship isn't well-defined, you can't proceed on the non-verbal basis alone without some serious miscommunications and that's what's happened with us.. I try to "fix" that by putting everything into words, so we'll be clear but he doesn't ever say what he wants. He just makes it clear that I'm supposed to guess-that's the way it feels to me anyway. The funny thing is-I'm not his enemy. I'm actually someone capable of loving him in a way that is good to HIM, rather than just using him to indulge myself and my feelings, which i know is the popular approach to these things. I guess I see this as a real opportunity for both of us to grow but that is more of my 4 stuff, right. Maybe 5's don't see things that way? Will he ever be able to see me genuinely as a friend and not as a threat to his seclusion?
|
|