Posted by Vonnegutfan (165.122.123.229) on January 09, 2003 at 13:22:14:
In Reply to: a very trying individual posted by Artemisia (65.31.170.98) on January 09, 2003 at 06:47:31:
Sucks to be you. I'd probably have my walkman along or some similar spaceout gadget. Which of course nullifies the point of hanging out
with a couple who you (are supposed to) like. Good luck.
> Hi everyone. I'm a 5w4 and would like some advice on a troubling issue.
> We spend every friday night with a couple who are old high school friends of my fiance (6w5). This has been going on for over three years. It wouldn't be a problem if SHE was anyone different. He is a 5w6--and we both are fond of him.
> She is the bane of my friday night existence. She is an ESFJ--I suspect 6w7, but perhaps I'm wrong. The woman is entirely incapable of abstract thought or imagination. Her thinking process is entirely subjective and linear. For example, she can relate a fascinating conversation about philosophy of existence somehow to her greasy brother and his slutty wife. She seems to feel as if these people's actions reflect on her somehow. She's terribly concerned of what other people think of her and her family.
> She works as a cleaning lady for wealthy people's homes and often her customers give her hand-me-down gifts. She always mentions it to me..."check out this sweater that Mary gave to me, It's (blah blah)brand name and it probably cost about $500!" And I know I'm supposed to be impressed, but I don't know what to say when I could give a rat's ass.
> She drinks enough coffee for three and is constantly paranoid. If she hears that there was an outbreak of e. coli on some cantaloupe at some restaurant, she won't buy cantaloupe anymore. Her son just brought home a surprise baby (it's a long story)-- and did I know that they used to tell mothers to put babies on their stomach, but now they're telling them to put them on their backs.....omg, what to do!! She freaks out about stuff like that all the time.
> Her husband, being a 5, sometimes utters the occasional cynical/sarcastic comment directed (for fun, of course) at someone not present. She freaks out and starts hitting him saying "fuck you, you fuck, you're such an ass." A minute later she'll be snuggling with him saying how much she loves him. It's disturbing to me because I never talk to my fiance that way. Her husband just lets it roll off. The poor man's been beaten down for more than 20 years, but it's still unsettling to see it happen in my presence.
> Needless to say I could go on citing example after example but there's little point. How do I deal with this? Being in her presence makes my neck tense. The energy I spend on controlling myself and trying to be nice despite the revulsion I feel is getting to me.
> It used to not be so bad, but now that it's been every friday for over three years. We go to their house, our house or the same old stinky bar. One of the three. It's every fucking week. My fiance is aware of my thoughts on the matter, but it's not as easy for him to end a 25 year friendship as it is for me to end a 4-year one. He wants to let it work itself out. I don't know if any of you know the Linkin Park song that goes "everything you say to me..." Yeah, well that about sums it up about her. And tomorrow is Friday.