Posted by Ryan (65.141.164.217) on January 20, 2003 at 15:35:33:
In Reply to: Re: 5s and the mating ritual posted by deras (65.64.136.131) on January 19, 2003 at 07:40:05:
> yeah, don't listen to any of the 'be yourself' nonsense... the way to get people to like you is to act inauthentically, that way you can potentially waste their time and your own.
"Be yourself" works for 5s depending on what type they are trying to attract. Amy was already stating that "being herself" wasn't working. Perhaps the man she likes is not really the most compatible man for her. I have no idea. But she'll never know unless she starts dating the man, and I think her best chance would be if she started "flirting" a little more exaggeratedly.
I don't consider ANY relationship a waste of time. It's all a learning experience. Failure is the best way to learn new things.
> the psychology research on this is pretty clear men and women prefer straight-forwardness. along with that you have GRIP... graduated reciprocal incremental progress, where each party mirrors the other's level of investment. you make a small move and wait for them to make an equitable response before making any more investments and as things progress you can increase the size of your moves (as long as their reciprocations warrant it).
That sounds like a good way for a 5 to make friends. Perhaps I'll try it. But I know that unless the other person is a 5, I usually have to go out on a limb with my behavior. I personally can't think of a duller way to try to spark a romantic relationship, but perhaps that's my 4 wing speaking.
Ryan