Re: Motivation

Posted by Cecil on December 01, 1999 at 17:49:12:

In Reply to: Motivation posted by b.b. on November 30, 1999 at 20:52:13:

> Normally, I would just set back and let
> the jerks of the world do their thing but
> this person who seems to think we are
> all sick people who respond on the message
> board for the enneagram might need to take
> a look in the mirror.

> b.b.

> If I said any more it would be wasted on
> a wasted human being?

But that's just 'playing into' where he lead you to go.
He 'hits', you 'hit back', then his turn, then yours, see the cycle?
You want this cycle to continue: for what objective?

You are both now either upping the ante of aggressions onto each other or deadlocking.
To get him to move 'down' from the aggressive stance, risk going first. Of course, you don't want to go all the way. But to try and get him to be a little more kind, you may need to be kind first. Then stop at a 'low-risk' level and check his response. If he responds by moving back down to be closer to your level of less aggression-more kindness, then keep moving, slowly, more into that direction, making sure that he follows you in kind.
If, however, he does not continue to lower his aggression, then DON'T continue to lower yours. Instead, either go back up to where you were, and END it, or don't even bother doing that, just end it right where you are. Inform him politely that should he wish to converse about more positive a nd construcitve perspectives, then you can continue your discussion, but not until then.

Cecil

Follow Ups:

• 3 'levels' of communication Cecil 18:04:39 12/01/99 (1)
  • Re: 3 'levels' of communication b.b. 20:06:08 12/01/99 (0)

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