Posted by Ev on January 28, 2000 at 18:46:11:
In Reply to: And Here's Mine... posted by Jason on January 28, 2000 at 18:32:00:
Hello Jason,
Interesting theory you have here. A while back I was very unsure of whether I was a 4w5 or a 5w4. I decided I was a 4w5 based primarily on the fact that I've always envied others and their relationships and I've also on many occasions went through the push/pull cycle common to 4's. What I find interesting is that I can least relate to 8's and it just so happens that my father is an unhealthy 8. Since I do have such an affinity for 5's attributes and motivations I'm once again confused.
Ev
> > The type a person has major personality conflicts with also, ironically, is often the type one must integrate toward.
> > Example: I think I am a 3. I have always had major conflicts with 6s. Their behavior seems alien to me. But I supposedly have to integrate to 6!
> > I forgot the name, but I think there is a 9 on the board who hates 3s. Ironically, that person has to integrate to 3...
> I totally agree with you; I posted something similar a week ago or so on one of the boards. Seems to me that it might be an easy way to type someone - find out what traits they hate most. As a 5w4, I have always HATED 8's...until I started studying the enneagram, and realized that that was my direction of integration. The positive characteristics of 8's are thos aspects of myself that I have never developed and have shied away from unconsciously. At the same time, I think I did envy them somewhat as well, though I wasn't aware of it; I pursued lots of activities that I thought would make me a "leader" or "stronger" or whatever.
> And here's my theory - we form our personalities based upon the adult we most strongly associate with during our formative years (3-6 or so), who usually happens to be our same-sex parent. Depending upon how they are during this time (healthy, average, unhealthy), we may mimic their primary personality strategy or we may form based upon one direction or another. In your case, looks like you may have formed off of your dad "going to 3" (his direction of disintegration), which is also what I did (my dad is an 8). Just a theory, but most of my friends I have been able to type fit the profile.