Posted by Gigi on March 01, 2000 at 13:39:51:
In Reply to: Re:I'm New! continued posted by Z on February 29, 2000 at 21:53:54:
About Sean's post:
3s can be into self-development heavily, but this will be more about professional development. The way I got involved in the Enneagram was because I was holding Effectiveness and Conflict Resolution/Mediation Workshops/Seminars in the recent years and personality types popped up. How did I get into the above business? Because I was teaching science at a high school and my teacher's certificate trainining introduced me to effectiveness as a teacher and, therefore, as a human being. As I studied the subject I found out that I would like to influence others into studying the same things. In order to convince them I started workshops. In short, one thing led to the other.
What I wanted to point out is that 3s in general are interested in subjects if these serve concrete results. And 3s are almost always interested in linking topics and advancing from one site to the other in order to be more more effective and more successful. (But not in a monkey-like-monkey-leave manner!) When doing this 3s are also satisfying their excitement seeking drive.
"Successful" relationships are very important. My 3 mother does not "remember" anything she has done which has hurt us the, neither the dark sides of her relationship with my father! When I am reminded of anything bad in my relationships I am greatly disturbed and disappointed that peoeple have misunderstood me (!?).
3s have abilities to liven up any relationship. To keep it on the go. Because they are always thinking of ways to be more effective, more attractive in every way you can think of. They are also keeping an eye at things, so a relationship will go in the proper direction, in accordance with the wishes of all parties. There has to be a direction, mind you. A 3's blind spot would probably the "feelings" of others. These "feelings" are sometimes beyond my comprehension, no matter how much I try. The body language is easy to understand for a 3. When the other person is entangled in feelings then the 3 is at a loss.
The best thing to do with a 3 would be to leave her/him to her/his own and not be indignant. I presume though that this is true for everybody. But more important is: Bring in vision to a 3. Since 3s are always looking into the future (not worrying but looking) a person with a vision, with intuition is the best match as a partner. Since 3s can also be agitated peace-bringing atmosphere is always good, but not for long. Action is the main catch here. Action with vision.
That is why I think a combination of a 7, 5, and 9 personality is a good fit for a 3 in every kind of relationship. Having said this I must add that a healthy person is a good fit for anyone!
Mind you, I love hugging a 4 once in a while. S/he will transmit something I cannot put into words right now and I don't want to say "warmth." So help me say it!
And Z: I do not think that the need to please is a prominent thing with 3s. That could be because of 6 influence too. Or maybe you have mistyped yourself.
Gigi
> Sean,
> I can't say anymore what my wing is.
> 2s tend to suffer from Dependent Personality Disorder.
> 4s tend to suffer from depression.
> I went to the psychologist today, and guess what he tentatively diagnosed? Dependent Disorder and mild depression. (He did say I was healthy though. I suppose this means that these problems aren't too serious in my situation.)
> I have a test to study for, so I will continue my 3 post today. It's going to be about the good things about being a 3.
> Later,
> Z