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Re: About 3s

Re: About 3s

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Posted by Gigi on March 02, 2000 at 13:06:37:

In Reply to: Re: About 3s posted by Sean on March 01, 2000 at 19:32:48:

I think that a casual approach is the best, for anyone. "Let's talk about..." or "Listen to my.." feelings would be too superficial. Wouldn't you agree? That kind of talk puts one in individual or group therapy scene and 3s don't like such sessions. They would be put off.

Spontaneity comes naturally and it is a great gift. I have always thought: What am I ready to give up for more spontaneity? My education? Maybe.

Gigi

> Wow!

> Thanks, Gigi... this is great Three stuff. I hope everyone gets a chance to read what you wrote, it's highly instructive. I liked how you put it when you said Threes are always looking to the future so providing Threes with a vision, a plan, an action agenda can be the most helpful thing. If "improving our relationship" is given such an agenda where there are concrete tasks to perform, a Three will be more likely to bite. Telling a Three, "your job is to listen to my feelings for the next 5-10 minutes" probably will get more positive response than most other approaches. Selling this as a regular ritual for having a more successful relationship, from what you're saying, would go over particularly well.

> And then not attacking a Three for their blind spot of having trouble knowing what to do with a lot of feelings is obviously key. Or for having trouble expressing feelings. I hear a lot that Threes show their feelings for other people by what they do for them. Maybe asking Threes how they were feeling when they were doing X or Y for you would work as a nice entrance into a Three sharing his/her feelings? You tell me.

> I also am glad you said having a healthy person is a good match for anyone (healthy)... I definitely believe this too. And I thoroughly like having this discussion where people can talk about what works for them in relationship as an "X" and what doesn't, how others can help you in your type, what's least useful, etc. I hope other people genuinely learn from and add to this kind of discussion for each of the types... there's real value here.

> Sean

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> I think that a casual approach is the best, for anyone. "Let's talk about..." or "Listen to my.." feelings would be too superficial. Wouldn't you agree? That kind of talk puts one in individual or group therapy scene and 3s don't like such sessions. They would be put off. > Spontaneity comes naturally and it is a great gift. I have always thought: What am I ready to give up for more spontaneity? My education? Maybe. > Gigi > > > Wow! > > Thanks, Gigi... this is great Three stuff. I hope everyone gets a chance to read what you wrote, it's highly instructive. I liked how you put it when you said Threes are always looking to the future so providing Threes with a vision, a plan, an action agenda can be the most helpful thing. If "improving our relationship" is given such an agenda where there are concrete tasks to perform, a Three will be more likely to bite. Telling a Three, "your job is to listen to my feelings for the next 5-10 minutes" probably will get more positive response than most other approaches. Selling this as a regular ritual for having a more successful relationship, from what you're saying, would go over particularly well. > > And then not attacking a Three for their blind spot of having trouble knowing what to do with a lot of feelings is obviously key. Or for having trouble expressing feelings. I hear a lot that Threes show their feelings for other people by what they do for them. Maybe asking Threes how they were feeling when they were doing X or Y for you would work as a nice entrance into a Three sharing his/her feelings? You tell me. > > I also am glad you said having a healthy person is a good match for anyone (healthy)... I definitely believe this too. And I thoroughly like having this discussion where people can talk about what works for them in relationship as an "X" and what doesn't, how others can help you in your type, what's least useful, etc. I hope other people genuinely learn from and add to this kind of discussion for each of the types... there's real value here. > > Sean

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