Posted by Margaret on March 29, 2000 at 22:02:59:
In Reply to: You got a lousy taste in men. It reflects your personality. n/t posted by Cheap shot? No, just honest. on March 29, 2000 at 21:02:50:
Hey, let's be fair, please. You know, sometimes among addicts you can find the most beautiful loving people. Deep down inside there is pain and fear and whole other mess of emotions that belong to the heart of the addict who can get hurt pretty easy. Much of this is pretty hard to handle, to take, so the addiction serves as a sort of "sheild" of "crutch" to get a kind of temporary "refuge" from. It's hard, too, to get "over with", whether it's drugs or alcolhol or gambling or other unhealthy behaviour.
The addiction, or addictive behaviours, do not happen to be "the" person, it does not constitute the quality of the person's character, their very essence, what lies at the heart and the soul, it simply "postpones" it, covers it up, puts it off, perhaps, but it doesn't "make" (or "break") the actual person him or herself.
Addictions are simply behaviours, habits, serving a temporary 'relief' from situations otherwise difficult to control.
People can consciously choose what behaviours and habits they need to work on, which ones they seek to gradually weed out, and increase a better one in it's place.
It is *this* human, this person, this individual underneath that consciously and por-actively seeks out and makes these choices of what and how and when and why we seek to strive whichever end goals we have put in place for ourselves to become in our lives.
There is a biblical saying, "Love the sinner, not the sin".
And I believe in it.
> > No, this person is a boyfriend of the either 5 or 9,
> > and this person does not care about the enneagram or
> > know anything about it, would only care if it wanted
> > to know the enneagram number of a horse.