Posted by Cory on April 27, 2000 at 00:52:48:
In Reply to: No luck posted by Ryan on April 26, 2000 at 20:11:01:
Ryan, you may be more right than me....
But I'm still more poetic about it!
What you said is probably not possible in my case. Really. Pursue? Jeez, can't I find a wounded meal so I don't have to chase for it or something? Hell, maybe you don't understand my anxious nature or how you can Tell I'm holding back in conversation. I have zero self-confidence when it comes to that. I don't know, I think it's just I'm the most introverted person on here...
which leads me to another point: I really relish being single because of the independence it affords me. I hate to be tied down by others and having to do things for them. So, I'm one of those individuals who complains about being single, then when I'm not (well if i wasnt) I'd complain about the lack of independence.
I'll end up being a john with a half a dozen VDs, or a serial rapist before I actually have any "normal" sexual relations =o)
-Cory
> Read through most of this. The fact is that you too could have a woman like this if you really wanted to. How many women like this do you actually attempt to talk to, let alone actively pursue. My guess is this guy is a good conversationalist and good at making his woman laugh and pretends to be sensitive sometimes so that he can get a good piece of ass. If you actively pursued somebody in this way you'd probably get the same results, even better. But my guess is that you never even talk to pretty women. The fact is, the way society works is that the man has to work at pursuit, the woman has to work at looking desirable. All animal species work this way. You are not doing enough pursuing, Cory. When I got really sick of being single myself I finally realized that I had to start being more assertive. I finally was and I finally got a girlfriend, had sex, got married, the whole nine yards. It was worth it for the experience but I don't know if I ever want to do it again. But I'm not sitting here moaning about my poor luck because I'm single. So if you really don't want to be single and you want to meet a really good looking woman, then it's really easy to do that. But if you want to meet the person who compliments your personality best than you might need a little more patience, although you do also have to pursue looking in the right places to find a person like this. In the end, you can't just sit on your ass. It's not the way nature works.
> Ryan
> > Luck by Cory Caplinger
> > Despite what the ultra-rational logical types might blurt, or from the mouth of a scraggly-haired new age crypto-doctor whose priestly costume looks like she just came from a Renaissance Faire, the world does not operate on the will of something greater than us.
> > You'll be walking down the sidewalk, a warm, sticky summer's day, just like...oh, you know. The sunlight's glinting off the windows and you look like a pretty bad ass Clint Eastwood wannabe as you squint and strut your way down the cemented catwalk. Along comes a goddess with a killer rack, legs to the sky, oceanic eyes, perfect blond hair, and sultry lips that may have been around more men than they deserved. Unfortunately, she's not exactly ideal...she seems to have a large growth on the side of her. He's a tall, lanky individual with eyes that don't face in the same direction. A huge advertisement for ADIDAS is plastered over his torso, letting you know this guy ain't gonna have that conversation about Kierkegaard you wanted to have. The guy pretty much thinks he's more bad ass with you, showing off his trophy girlfriend to anybody out and about the town on this fine summer's day. You walk by them, carefully glancing at the girl from head to toe. Damn she's gorgeous. But you don't want her pimp to know you're looking at her, I mean, he is a scrawny twerp, but is it worth it to get into a fight over viewing rights? Ok maybe it is sometimes, but let's assume for sake of argument you are a pacifist. Now you, Gandhi, pass by them and turn around and by God she's got the sweetest juiciest watermelony ass this side of Topeka. You imagine sinking your teeth into it; no wonder all those people have vampire fetishes. You also look at how flat and uninspired her companion's butt is, although Why you're checking out his ass when you got a nicer, more female one next to it, is beyond my guess. But, if you do happen to look you will see a difference in art. Sorta of like viewing Munch's The Scream contrasted with some pop artist's painting of a coke can with his own feces as paint. Or, when you compare the two, it's like seeing a late-model convertible Porsche driving on the freeway next to an '88 Yugo which seems scotch-taped together. If you're a gentleman finely attuned to his senses, you'll keep your eyes fixed on that wonderful view of the rear of Miss Prissy until she's seven blocks away and you run into a lamppost. If you're the intuitive type, however, you may wonder: How the hell did that beauty end up with evolutionary reject like That, and I'm still single? Good question, and that's what I wanted to answer! No matter how many theories, research papers, or lectures about the rational reason of why this is true, will yield any truth to it. This sort of phenomena picks up where science drops off. Oh sure you can have your reasons, "He has a great personality", "Maybe he's a rich bastard?", "Maybe the girl is blind", etc. but these are all impractical hypotheses. If you look deep enough, you'll find guys who are mishapen and deformed with the personality of a spastic applicant to McDonald's who was turned down, is a skid row bum who lives in his car, And the girl has superior 15/20 vision, and with all of these factors in effect at the same time, how can you explain that with rational science? Yea, go ahead and try Einstein!
> > Then again, maybe the girl is just plain stupid with a poor taste in men. Ok, I guess that would work, but do we have to resort to sexism -- even if it is the truth? Thank you.
> > So you're walking along and you don't understand how the hell a superior exemplar of your species has yet to take a dive into the gene pool, while these things are swimming around, diving in, even playing "Marco Polo" with multiple partners. Something is awry here.
> > Explanation: "Maybe God has beef with you?"
> > Hey, why do you think, that out of six and a half billion (and rising) humans and near-humans on this Earth that He would go around, controlling existence so that everyone else has a good time and you don't? Come on! He can't be that bad! No, most likely God is the kind of laid-back kind of guy who won't meddle in your stuff if you don't meddle with his. People go to "God's House" on Sundays, unbeknownst to them, God is in his real house, several thousand light years high in the sky, kicking back in a cloud recliner and watching the Rams-Broncos game, in which He used his premonition powers to bet on the right team.
> > Explanation: "Hmm...maybe you're worse than the schmuck she's dating? Could it be that you look at yourself as being too superior than you really are?"
> > Ooooh, trying to get personal with me, eh? Well, listen here hotshot, I'm not sayingI'm superior by nature, just superior in comparison with Mr. Owned-by-Soulless-Corporations over here. There's such as thing as being a horrible, repulsive person...but also being a wonderfully charming one in comparison with a degenerate specimen.
> > Explanation: "My, aren't you touchy? Ok, how about...maybe the guy really does have many qualities, just hidden from the outside world."
> > Come on, you know that's not true. When's the last time you saw a playwright whose plays revolutionized the way we looked at human nature, or Hertz rent-a-car commercials, stroll down the street wearing a "Tough Guy Gym XXL" shirt and a baseball cap backwards? When is the last time you've seen a romantic and caring counseler take his girl around town only to show off what a great fish he landed. This guy is no different than those arrogant deep sea fishermen who fight with marlins for five hours then proudly display them on the dock! "Look! I got a huge ass fish! Now I don't have to worry about my insecurities of having a small penis anymore!" Look, another reason why your theory is wrong is that I'm full of highly admirable qualities (and frightening fetishes, but I keep those hidden fortunately) and you don't see any bodacious babes with her arm around me. So why is it that she can find these mysterious hidden qualities which are buried like Atlantis in this schmuck but she can't see them in me and just focuses on my complete lack of social skills, my open misogyny, and my dragon breath. Oh, now I know why I'm still single.
> > Explanation: "Hahaha, there! We pinpointed it!"
> > Actually, my friend, the last part was all in jest. I just have the lack of social skills. But still, compare a lack of social skills with this clown over there and you tell me who by theory would be more likely to attract women like flies to flypaper?
> > Explanation: "Well, ok, I admit...you. But that's only in theory!"
> > Precisely! Now you're learning. In theory I should be pimpin' it up a la Barry White style, but I'm not. Really makes you wonder, doesn't it?
> > Explanation: "Indeed. Strange universe, man. Strange universe."
> > You got that right! There's really no point to understanding something when the law changes the next day and you have to learn something completely new over again, and by the time you learn that, a new law is in place, and what you have is a headful of knowledge, but rendered useless. Kind of like furnishing a jumbo jet with luxury seating, wide aisles, live 24-hour VR porn headsets, the works...then forgetting to put wings on the plane.
> > Explanation: "Ok. I admit it. I give up. You win. What's the secret reason for all this chaos and mayhem?"
> > Glad you asked. *dramatic pause*
> > Explanation: "Just spit out! What is it?"
> > Luck :)
> > Explanation: "Luck?"
> > Yes, Luck! As in, to get a Fuck, you must have a lot of Luck!
> > Explanation: "I don't understand."
> > Or, to make a Buck, you must have Luck! Y'see? Luck is what makes the world go 'round. Obi-Wan was talking out of his ass when he said that the Force is what surrounds us, and binds us, and makes the Galaxy One or some new age rhetoric. The answer is simply: Luck. Think about it! There's no scientific reason that girl lowered her standards for a boyfriend, no angry vengeful God against you, no delusions of superiority, no hidden innate qualities, nothing but luck! Ever heard of Chaos Theory? If not read Chaos by James Gleick, or go watch Jurassic Park. Basically, what happened was some butterfly in Beijing flapped its wings, or a goat in Somalia farted, and now Marilyn Monroe married Richard Nixon! But there's no real rational reason for the chain of events either. Things simply...happened.
> > Explanation: "Ah, so this is fate then?"
> > Nope, not fate! Fate, destiny, whatever you want to call it, is predestined. Luck, fortunately, is not predestined. You may be a loser schmuck who works his ass flipping burgers at Wendy's, but the next day, Lady Luck stridles up next to you and blows in your ear and -boom- you're suddenly the manager of the burger joint, and people don't make as much jokes about your buck teeth like they used to. Luck is spontaneous. It's a wild child who lives off impulse. It's a five-hundred pound gorilla who sleeps where it wants to. It's the reason why your invention of super efficient gasoline never took off, and why the inventor of the Chia Pet is rolling in dough!
> > Explanation: "Oh. So it's Karma then?"
> > Not quiet, I mean, Karma's truly a bitch. What good deeds you do and all positive gifts you give to the environment don't boomerang around. They come back and hit someone else! And bad stuff always comes back - but only to you. Other people abuse the system, lie on their taxes, and purposely try to run over old ladies crossing the street, but you don't see bad stuff come back and bite them on the ass, do ya? Oh, but rest assured, the minute you even try of crossing the line and asserting yourself against the powerful tidal wave we call society, you'll drown. You park in the red zone for five seconds, and come back with a ticket on your windshield. Then while that conventional-bound cop is busy writing the ticket, some guys are getting away with a bank robbery and later revel in the thousands of dollars of fun money they newly acquired.
> > Explanation: "So what is Luck? Just some random happenings?"
> > Well, I really don't know for certain. To describe it as something random is the closest and most accurate depiction you can get of luck, but it ain't it. Kind of like a police sketch of a suspect. Luck is better experienced than explained. So go out, try your hand at video poker or slot machines. Gather some dear friends around, share some vodka martinis and warm-hearted stories, then try out a game of Russian Roulette. Go play chicken with a retarded guy on PCP - with your eyes closed the whole time. Take a dangerous risk. Jump off the Sears Tower. You might get picked up by an eagle on your way down, or maybe an angel. Throw out every last ounce of rationality in your mind, and leave your life to chance. Take a dare, quit hiding, and LIVE! Jump in front of a speeding Amtrack with your arms out and stop that son of a bitch.
> > Hey it could happen.