Posted by Cory on June 01, 2000 at 12:08:26:
In Reply to: Re: Recurring themes in dreams posted by Hal on June 01, 2000 at 10:33:53:
> What my problem has been, and I suspect yours is too, is a fear of what others will think of you if you stand up to them, and what this will mean about who you are and how your future turns out. Will people hate you if you contradict them? Will they hurt you (emotionally or physically)? Will you end up alone and unloved? Does it mean that you are a bad person? It could be one or more of these, or something else.
That sounds very true come to think of it. I feel if I stand up to others, I will be in a dangerous situation, rejected (more so), and I wouldn't feel "safe". See, I tend to be on the outskirts of social interaction and even like career-wise. I tend to shy away from everyone and if they provoke me, I give in.
I've been considering a theory of how we defend ourselves...there are four types. Extraverted Aggressive, Extraverted Passive, Introverted Aggressive, and Introverted Passive.
Extraverted Aggressives are those who protect themselves by forcing themselves on the environment. A Type Eight best represents that. It is where there is a lion and you charge it with a weapon, expecting to kill it.
Extraverted Passives are those who protect themselves by seeking out friends and being liked. Type Two or extraverted Sixes are examples. The person willingly goes out and tries to befriend the lion.
Introverted Aggressives are those who build fortresses around themselves, and if provoked, fight back. Five is a good example. They stay away from the lion but if the lion tries to attack, they fight back.
Introverted Passives like to stay away from danger and when provoked, give into the dominating authroity or befriend them. A Nine or Four illustrates this. They avoid the lion but when the lion tries to attack, they "play dead" or befriend it.
I would say these are the four basic defense mechanisms we use when relating to each other.
-Cory