Posted by Andy on August 12, 1998 at 15:13:46:
In Reply to: Re: Counterphobics posted by Sol on August 12, 1998 at 13:45:00:
:
: : Sixes are really a trip. Can you ever know how they will act.. or react?
: : Dependency produces a curious personality. One that will be insulting and
: : almost viscious, then wimpering and clingy.
: : For all of you that have a 6 boss, let me know how its like working for them.
: : The top three managers in my company are 6's and they are a real pain in the
: : a..!
: I used to think my boss was a 6, though now I think she might be a 2. She certainly has many sixish tendencies though. She tends to idealize tradition. She's also big on membership and belonging and support. Not one to go out on a limb. It's really hard to convince her that it would be beneficial to update a process, for example, even if the old way of doing things is becoming an obstacle. This seems like a sixish characteristic to me.
: She's nervous about change, in any and all forms. We had to move to a new building recently and that was absolute torture for her, though I welcomed the fresh environment.
: She's not one to come right out and say anything. You kind of have to humor her need to not rock the boat and sort of infer whatever she's implying but uncomfortable saying aloud (Hmm--that would be like disrupting the status quo of the immediate environment with her speech--can't do that!).
: Come to think of it, she does flip and go ballistic sometimes. If you violate her ideals, step back because there's going to be an explosion. Takes things really seriously. Career is life. So if there is an explosion, you just have to become very still and make no sudden movements, at least that's what I do.
: Frequently, when under stress, she is weepy and that makes me WAY uncomfortable because these shoulders are not made for crying on, especially by someone who makes decisions about my livelihood. I'm not big on neediness and the sixish/twoish focus on group support is foreign to me.
: I frequently feel insulted and patronized by the way she speaks to me. If you haven't proven yourself with years of "belonging" you might not get much respect. That's another thing--she's big on the concept of experience, as in someone who's 55 being better than someone who's 25, regardless of whether the latter is correcting blatant errors in the former's work.
: Then there's the "always prepared" Scout kind of trait. She actually keeps a pair of comfortable shoes in her car in case of a natural disaster in which she might be stranded and wouldn't want to have dress shoes on. Forget minimalist. Try maximalist.
: SO----
: Here's what I've learned about getting along with this type of person:
: -- Treat with respect their issue with tradition/continuity/belonging. Appreciate the stress they feel about breaking any patterns they have settled into, even if it's just loyalty to a brand. They feel supported by the myriad traditions in their lives; cutting these out can make them really nervous, even if the same situation is refreshing and exciting to you.
: -- At least appear to take your job seriously, even if you don't actually. If you want them to relate to you, refrain from telling stories about the time you suddenly packed up and traveled around the world with a daypack and a pair of flip-flops or anything like that.
: -- Recognize that they are not the types to want to ever "go it alone." Independence is not an ideal for them, and they are unlikely to understand if you have a desire to make your mark in some original innovative way. Don't stand out.
: -- Offer brief updates on your projects often--that way they feel connected. This same action might annoy a more independent type, like me. If you don't keep her posted, she might not trust you, or even be suspicious about your plans, and that's a BAD thing from someone with sixish traits.
: --Defer to her years of "experience" even if she spent 20 years sitting at the same desk doing the same job with not so much as the room temperature changing.
: --Be patient with her need to be prepared, to buy all the preparations and have them organized and within an arm's reach. You could even get in her good graces by offering assistance with some preparedness "need" that in reality you couldn't care less about. Like bringing napkins to the department birthday party or some other thing that you might actually think is so completely not necessary.
: --Try not to let it bother you. Nothing's ever as important as they act like it is.
I guess this is my shadow, ISFJ, six, and not a two.
I guess I would not last very long with her at the top, I would probably
quit.
I just can't understand how a person like that can get a leader job,
she really can't be good for the company's growth (if it is a company).
By the way, what kind of boss is she and how many people's does she manage ?