Posted by Alias on December 03, 2000 at 06:55:22:
This is the *complete* type 9 list including my edited version and flatmate's (eventual) rendering which follows. So there are two lists here - read on.
Top ten list of indications that you might be a type 9:
Original edition:
You don't understand why people find Homer Simpson funny (Does nothing all day, 'Hmm.... Doughnuts')
Contrary to popular opinion you have no trouble saying 'N...nn...nnn...nnn....nu.' (Translation: No.)
You never, ever get angry, and if you'll kill anyone who disagrees.
You prove your decisiveness by taking just three months to choose the wallpaper.
When pouring coffee at the local Church someone says, "Coffee, and fast" then joins the longer queue when they see it's you serving.
It's obvious to you that the three basic elements for survival are food, food and food.
When your flatmate insults you by suggesting that you live only for vast quantities of chocolate you rebuke him harshly for forgetting the need for QUALITY..
You regard romance as a waste of energy.
People say you blend in at parties but you don't care as long as you can get to the food.
You get your type 4 flat mate to help compose this list and then get him to type it and send it.
Alternative Version
1 - You don't see what's so funny about the way Homer Simpson does nothing all day and is only interested in food
2 - Despite what people say, you have no difficulty saying "Nnn....nn....nnnnn..nnn ....."
3 - Rather than delete your flatmate's efforts at a 'Top 10,' you offer an "Alternative Version"
4 - Of course you're decisive - it only took 3 months to choose the new wallpaper
5 - You start smoking pot - and no-one can tell the difference
6 - Your labrador has 4 thoughts, 1 for each paw: food, food, sex and food. But you consider this an unnecessary dilution of resources
7 - You're only doing this because your flatmate got bored waiting for you and had his own go first
8 - Of course you're going to tidy your room again - when the Queen has her next Silver Jubilee
(one for us Brits, there ... )
9 - This is all getting to be a bit much effort ...