Posted by Christy on August 27, 1998 at 10:37:06:
In Reply to: Re: Borderline Unhealthy Four! What Should I do? posted by Autumn Lilly on August 27, 1998 at 05:51:50:
: : :
: : : : : Dear Autumn Lily (How Beautiful !)
: : : : : : The two things that have helped me the most (and I am a 4) are to get busy with activity -even activity that might not be what I particularly like doing (House work-yuck). My motto is DO -DON'T STEW. The other is to get interested in other people and really listen to them. This is hard for me as I am always taking things personally, or relating it back to myself. I have a long way to go on that. Basically-just keep busy and not thinking and introspecting so much and getting my mind off of me and onto others. Hope this helps.
: : : : : Smiles
: : : : : Kate
: : : : Could you give us some more insight on how "you" feel? When I'm really unhealthy I get very phobic and anxious, I think about suicide on a daily or hourly basis, and I write and write and write. I find that I need self-analysis at that point more than ever - but to think, not feel. If you cannot get past the feeling - find someone to help you analyze with you.
: : : : If this means buying someone's time (a paid professional) then do it. One of the most important things I've learned is that when I need help I have to ask for it. Sometimes you will need an outsider or a professional to give you feedback that you really don't want to hear but should. Find someone "honest".
: : : Christy -this was good advice because it would depend on how down one was as to what to do. The things I suggested doing were After I had seen a professional and had done quite a bit of thinking as well as medication..
: : : Now , I am at a point where I am tired of analyzing and just want to become more involved in living-which is advice 4's are often given. But I
: : : certainly agree with you that first tha there has to be the thinking part and it would depend on how down you are as to what to do.
: : : Kate
: : There's several different levels of unhealthy isn't there! Actually your advice is on the same function as mine was - you have to stop "feeling" up to do things and start doing things because they make sense and are logical - planning goals, cleaning up your life (home and emotional home), becoming more idealistic instead of perfectionistic, and taking that anger and directing it outwards. I've been in counselling at different times for different phases and sometimes it only takes one session to get useful feedback. When I was younger and was going through the severe phobic stage, I needed to go on a weekly basis. I think that as time goes on I'm becoming more balanced - although I still am very fearful of loss in my life. Having an overactive imagination sure doesn't help!
: Christy: You are correct, there are several different levels of unhealthy. I am concerned that you are constantly thinking about suicide because from what I've read, this would indicate you are at a most unhealthy level - not borderline. Please tell me that you are seeing a professional on this matter on a regular basis and that you have disclosed your thoughts about suicide to a close friend who lives near to you.
Hon, this was about you - not me. I have enough posts on this board about my problems. But to answer you question - I haven't thought about suicide for about ten years - except a brief while after the death of our child 4 years ago. I doubt that I'd ever commit suicide - hope and faith in people in general tend to keep me going. THe levels of health-average-unhealth can fluctuate daily - weekly - yearly. I doubt that any point stays at one level consistently. It depends on your environment - changes in your life, etc. RIght before a big change your level is apt to go down while you're coping with life and the people around you. 10 years ago I was in the throes of adolescence and of course my 4 ness was probably very unhealthy. (Especially with the family I have, ha ha!)