Posted by heatherb on March 29, 2001 at 07:54:46:
In Reply to: Parents posted by Elizabeth on March 29, 2001 at 00:54:33:
> Everyone likes to complain about (or occasionally praise) their parents. What types were your parents and what did they do right or wrong as a result? (Don't forget to include your type!)
> For example, my mother is a 2w1 and I am a 5w4. She never has understood me. She tries to empathize with me and that is the worst way to relate to me. She pressured me a great deal when I was younger to be more social and continues to be concerned about my quiet lifestyle and the fact I do not have a serious significant other. She has always been invasive which conflicts with the five style of valuing privacy. She has always been needy which conflicts with my style of restricting personal needs. She used to tell me that I was negative when I felt I was realistic.
That sounds a lot like my mother!!!
But lets see... A general overview of my parents...
My mom: A 2w1. She's always "concerned" about me... especially about my social life... She has always wanted me to confide in her as a best friend, and I found her very invasive, always asking questions... She got on my nerves a lot. But then, she also wanted me to respect her and not question her, and would get very upset whenever I answered back (which was very often... I always wanted to know WHY I couldn't put my elbows on the table! ;) She would get upset in a passive-aggressive way.. Not yelling, but suddenly looking hurt and making me feel VERY guilty.
My dad: a 4w5, like me. As a teenager I was embarrased constantly by him... because he is VERY different. No other kid in school had a dad like him! He is very image-conscious, narcisistic I'd say... He talks a lot... he loves to hear himself talk... but he IS great with words. That has made me always feel a bit insecure with words, because I can't express myself as well as him. He understands me and my need for space and for being alone. I think he has always been kind of proud of the fact that I am so much like him! Like he sees things in me that remind him of himself.
Both my parents are very sensitive and emotional... we take things very personally. My mom and I have often clashed because of that.
So in my house, we always had to be sensitive and careful with words.
We always had looong deep conversations at home. Philosophical and wonderful... BUT, we also had lots of conflicts which then led to those long conversations... analyzing things to death. Living at home was very intense. I left when I was 16 to study abroad... we definitely get along much better with distance between us.
They've have allowed me to be myself, that's the best thing, and they have always supported me. No matter how many little things might bother me about them, I always see the big picture, and can say that they've been wonderful parents.I know not many people can say the same, so believe me, I know I've been very lucky!
(I'm stopping now because I could go on forever...)