Posted by Lisza on March 29, 2001 at 13:26:22:
In Reply to: Parents posted by Elizabeth on March 29, 2001 at 00:54:33:
I'm not entirely sure about my parents' types, but I see my mom as a 1w2 with a very strong 2 wing. My dad is more difficult to type, but I guess he is a 9w1. My home is exactly opposite from heatherb's, at least when it came to the emotional overtone because everything emotional used to be suppressed.
My parents were always very good and devoted parents so I don't blame them for anything. The only problem came from the fact that I and my brother are so different from my parents. They don't understand emotions, and they don't realize what children need besides what they can obviously see (such as basic, material needs), or unless we tell them. My dad, however, is much more sensitive to the unspoken than my mom is (and is also more imaginative and provided our childhood with a bit of fun), but he's not a very emotional person himself and cannot understand emotions. All of this is quite frustrating for me when I was growing up because while they were great when it came to all our other needs (they were quite self-sacrificing), they weren't there for me emotionally, and I had to deal with my feelings all alone. Also they, especially my mother, tend to get frustrated and angry when her we got emotional. She use to, for instance, see being sad as something that's wrong. She would ask questions like 'why are you being so sensitive?' Or when I happen to be hurt by something she said she would say 'You don't need to be angry, you get angry so easily, you need to change that personality of yours.' She never meant to hurt anyone, it's just that many things about me and my brother and certain kinds of people are beyond her ability to understand.
It's sad to see her now, because now that we are older, she begins to think that she did something wrong in the past and blames herself for the present unhappiness of one of her children. She tries, now, to understand what she can't understand. But it seems to be beyond her, and no one is helping very much. She always does her best, at least what she knows to be the best.