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Re: Parents

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Posted by Emily on March 29, 2001 at 16:30:32:

In Reply to: Parents posted by Elizabeth on March 29, 2001 at 00:54:33:

My mom is a 2w3 ENFJ or ISFJ, I can't decide which. My dad was never involved in my life for extremely complicated reasons...

Good things...

I think my mom is a very realistic person. Growing up, being an only child, no siblings, no dad, I was very mature at an early age. I had some cousins I used to play with, but I never really, and still do not, feel comfortable around people my own age. Older people are fine, younger people are fine, just not my peers. She understood that I was maturing fast, and let me make my own decisions, not pushing me too far one way or the other. I think that decision, her decision to give me FREEDOM, starting at a very young age, was the best one she could have made. She never pushed me too much to join in things I hated, like the soccer-mom type who wants their kids to do as much as they can even if it's not enjoyable. But, she supported me in the things I DID want and like to do.

Bad things...

She is very needy. One of the things I wish I had more than anything is a brother or sister or father or SOMEONE to take her off of my hands. She needs support from someone emotionally, and she looks for it in me. I don't want to be her friend or her emotional rock, I want to be her daughter. She said to me once that she had me so she could have someone to love, and someone to love her, after her mother died. What a huge responsibility for a little kid! And still today I hate that burden. She is manipulative, but she does it by being SO NICE and doing these selfless acts, which makes me feel like I owe her. What she has been doing over the years, whether she realizes it or not, is gradually making me feel more and more in debt to her by doing the things mentioned above. Now, I feel guilty if I want to make my own decisions and be independent, even though that's what she supported in my earlier years. As I've gotten older, she has become more and more of a "mother", trying to make decisions for me, and nurture me, and so forth. It went backwards...

-Emily, 4w5 INFP

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> My mom is a 2w3 ENFJ or ISFJ, I can't decide which. My dad was never involved in my life for extremely complicated reasons... > Good things... > I think my mom is a very realistic person. Growing up, being an only child, no siblings, no dad, I was very mature at an early age. I had some cousins I used to play with, but I never really, and still do not, feel comfortable around people my own age. Older people are fine, younger people are fine, just not my peers. She understood that I was maturing fast, and let me make my own decisions, not pushing me too far one way or the other. I think that decision, her decision to give me FREEDOM, starting at a very young age, was the best one she could have made. She never pushed me too much to join in things I hated, like the soccer-mom type who wants their kids to do as much as they can even if it's not enjoyable. But, she supported me in the things I DID want and like to do. > Bad things... > She is very needy. One of the things I wish I had more than anything is a brother or sister or father or SOMEONE to take her off of my hands. She needs support from someone emotionally, and she looks for it in me. I don't want to be her friend or her emotional rock, I want to be her daughter. She said to me once that she had me so she could have someone to love, and someone to love her, after her mother died. What a huge responsibility for a little kid! And still today I hate that burden. She is manipulative, but she does it by being SO NICE and doing these selfless acts, which makes me feel like I owe her. What she has been doing over the years, whether she realizes it or not, is gradually making me feel more and more in debt to her by doing the things mentioned above. Now, I feel guilty if I want to make my own decisions and be independent, even though that's what she supported in my earlier years. As I've gotten older, she has become more and more of a "mother", trying to make decisions for me, and nurture me, and so forth. It went backwards... > -Emily, 4w5 INFP

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