Posted by Tiggy on May 31, 2001 at 20:23:13:
In Reply to: Antlantis, Buried Treasure, and UFOs. And the Enneagram. posted by Cory on May 31, 2001 at 01:21:36:
> IF THERE ARE ALIENS THEY MIGHT COME TO KILL ME TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO GET MY ANTI-ALIEN SHOTGUN!!!!! DUDE I HOPE ALIENS ARENT REAL I SWEAR I HOPE THEY ARENT
> EPISODE XIV
> Quadrapalegic
> MAY 30, 2001
> What sad lives my parents live. Every day it's the same mundane routine. I don't think my mom has any hobbies. She just watches TV. Comes home from work and watches TV. I bet deep down inside she is sad. Yea, I think she is. She represses it. She's a Nine. 9w1 ISFJ.
> Why do I treat my parents this way? I'm such a jerk. I'm pathetic. I live a completely useless, worthless, devoid kind of life. I'm so WASTED. God I'm fucked up. I've said these words before...but I've never FELT them before.
> Is emotion a weakness? I don't know. I am not emotional at all. I can get riled up easily, but I always fall back on my impassive baseline. I cried. I NEVER cry. This shit is powa-full!!! YEEEEEEE-HAW.
> Emotions are so weird. I'm experiencing them. Its beautiful.
> They are like DRUGS!!!!!!! Hey, out of pot??? JUST HIT YOURSELF UNTIL YOU CRY!!!! =oD Fuck it though. Tonight is REALLY bringing out some emotions...emotions that I deny myself. It would be nice to have a wife. She has to be pretty though. Pretty. I mean, I can careless about brains, just some doll to look at and play with! Yeeeesh!
> So anyways I feel parental remorce, have crying bouts, and jerk off in romance ideation. Now...hmm mmh...Wouldn't it be cool to be a newscaster. And go crazy live during the six o'clock news? What would people at home think? Oh Shit? Well Fuck Me Up The Goat Ass Will You Look At That? I can imagine some urban black family all puzzled about why that old white man is beating the shit out of the blonde bitch next to him crying "DIRTY WHORE! DIRTY WHORE!" hahah i can hear the woman crying. I DONT LIKE VIOLENCE!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRR!!!! VIOLENCE IS BAD> VERY BAD > FUCK ALL VIOLENT OFFENDERS!!! I IRONICALLY WILL USE VIOLENCE AGAINST YOU IN THAT CASE -- SO FUCK OFF!!!! AND BLOW ME DOWN, POPEYE!!! >=[
> hehehe poopeye the sailor man...
> shits in a garbage can...
> He blew out some gas..
> 100 mph from his ass...
> He's poopeye the sailor man!!!!
> HAHAHAHA THATS CLASSIC!!!!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE HEHEHE BRB!!!!!! Dude Ghoastbusters is so fucking surreal. It wan the daimler-hitler award for outstanding achievement in the field of Movie-Making! Fred Savage hosted. Just last year! Remember? On UPN? Oh...THAT'S why you don't remember. IT WAS ON THE UPN THE FUCKING STATION THAT NOBODY WATCHES!!!
> FUCK UPN!!!!! I HATE THER NETWORK> THEY ARE GAY > FUCK THE WB NETWORK TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> Only Cbs Nbc Abc and Fox oh and KCAL 9 are deem worthy of watching. Fuck channel 5 and channel 13. THEY CAN SUCK MY GORILLA BALLS!!!!! Someone should make a candy called Gorilla Balls
> HEY ever notice that laughter is one of the few accepted male emotions? Anger is also very accepted. Worry is another. Boredom is another. But not sadness. That's considered a sign of showing weakness. Well so is Worry but they don't seem to worry about that! Worry is a funny looking word. How gay and neat is or her that? OK said the stoplight! O K SAID THE HARTHRODGE TREE! Ooooh I am a KNIGHT in 12th Century Englands. I see the things the trees and towns on the font right now I see it all tonight OH GOD BABY YEEEEEEEEA I SEE IT!!!!! YEEEEEE HAWWWW RIDING THE FONT AT NIGHT THIS MAY 30 2001 NIGHT ON A WEDNESDAY IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA OH YEA>...........ok sometimes I act real lame while stoned. Please forgive me. I just get caught up in the moment.
> My house is haunted by ghosts!!! LOTS OF THEM. Theres this dead woman yuck she's so old and ugly she is trying to hug me she is scrawny she is walking towards me. What does she want? Her skin is so clammy and feels like those gel balls. She just wants to hug me. That's all. :) She's a n ie ghost. She smiled at me. I smiled back. She is coming back. She is my friend. She is this old scrawny lady she doesnt look human but she's my friend. I feared her at first. But I accepted her. And discovered a wonderful human being in the most inhuman of forms! ;)
> THis might be the battle of Good vs Evil. Satan sent out this little walking puppet devil with Chinese eyes he's made of wood and he's walking down the hall towards me. WHAT DO I DO? KILL IT? Help it out??? DOH!
> Let's find out. He said that Satan sent him to kill me. Ow hes biting on my scrotum!! That bastard. Get off me ya freak! Hahaha he's so small. But he doesn't care. He can't kill me! He's 6 inches tall. Hes in front of me. Explaining his side of the story...lets listen...
> He says he is a loyal soldier to Satan. He is devoted to Satan. Satan is his God. He is not the worshipper of the GHOST KING. The most powerful King the Universe. GHOST KING. The Ghost King knows every thing and can kill you. THE GHOST KING IS OUT THERE!!! DONT FUCK WITH HIM. I WORSHIP THE GHOST KING. I FEAR THE GHOST KING!!!! GHOSTS ARE EVERYWHERE IN MY HOUSE, EVEN THEIR KING!!!!!!!
> I hate when my mouth gets all dry. Oh damn. I need PASTRIES i have the munchies!!!! Oh man this old ghost woman. Well she's in LOVE with me! YIKES! I had to get LIKED by SOMEONE in the universe and its her. But its wrong. I hurt her feelings. I feel bad. I should comfort her.
> WHOAA>>..this ugly ghost morphed into a beautiful woman!!! NOW SHES KISSING ME!!!! HEY NOT BAD OF A PLASTIC SURGERY JOB!!! EXCSUCE ME ;)
> Kissing is so fucking WEIRD!!!! DUDE THE CONCEPT OF IT! ITS PLEASURABLE IN A STRANGE SORT OF WAY WHEN YOU FEEL THE WOMANS GUMS AGAINST YOURS. =o| So anyways this ghost girl is quite the tease! She's um riding me. OK. I'm just sitting here, watching tv in 2007. Wow 6 years away. YEA FUCKING RIGHT. Hmm. Er fucking yea? Who knows. I don't know the future. ;)
> Is there anything more pleasurable than sex? It is like the ULTRA-DRUG. Never had it (damn the consenting partner rule!) so I wouldn't know what it's like. But I imagine it's masturbation x 10. Or a 100 on a special night!
> Whoa sex is pretty scary if you think about. THINK ABOUT IT!!! Wow the ultimate intermingling. I would scale it on Extraversion. It is totally about wetness and whoa hehehe it what the fuck? =o\ huh? Dude im so confused. Oh well.
> Part Two: President Wildebeests Descent Into Mars
> Thought you might like to know: I'm the lorry driver man.
> Now, I am imagining I am living in Mexico. Mexico is a weird place. All the MEXICANS!!!! Dude a whole another culture. Mexican culture. It's freaky, I think. Hat dances and worshipping statues. I bet Mexican cattle rancheers, especially older, rust-skinned mustachioed "cool" veteran types, I bet they kick ass. To be an old Mexican cattle rancher! Hell yea! That is a MAN's job! I WANT TO BE A COWBOY!!!! COWBOYS ARE COOL!!! WE NEED MORE COWBOYS AND COWGIRLS!!! THERE ARE NONE LEFT!!!!!! HURRY!!! THEY KICK ASS!!!!!
> Lets play Cowboys 'n Injuns. Wouldn't it be cool if the Redskins were the Indians. Then it would be "Tonights match up: Cowboys and Indians." That would be cool NFL reporting, if you ask me. What if there were "Nazis" and "Jews". Think of all the puns you can come up with! "Wow, the Nazis sure sent the Jews to the showers after this game!" or "Normally the Jews a great team, but they burned out tonight!". I bet you'd piss a lot of people off.
> What about White Slavemasters vs Negro Slaves. can you imagine we had such a fucked up concept with slavery? Its so disgusting. Its so morally wrong and you imprison somebody for your own advantage. Its disgusting. Slavery is capitalism at its raw.
> Since the 19th century, the United States has had to shift left, back towards Socialism and against Barbaric, Unchained Capitalism. We got rid of slaves. We don't have telephone monopolies. We don't have crooked city hall politicans. ;) HAHAHA yea whatever. EVIL POLITICIANS YOU MEAN!!! The ones endorsed by the Mafia, one of the biggest forces of evil on the face of this earth. For that the Mafia is the Satan Incarnate on earth.
> Good and Evil are on an even playing service. Your object is to win. What do you? Do you fight Evil? But violence is wrong, and if good does bad, bad becomes WHOLE. So you must love Evil because love is the expression of Goodness. But if you love Evil, you are endorsing it, because you are promoting its virtues! So um...do...uh, I don't know.
> Ok imagine this. A family is standing around and Popeye walks up to them. He says "Hi! I'm Poopeye!". Family says: "You're not Poopeye. You're Popeye!" Popeye says: "No I'm Poopeye! There's a difference!" The Family Says: "Huh? How can their be a difference if you are the same character?" Suddenly Popeye turns his head to reveal his other eye, and it is a blank eye socket with a big fat turd hanging out. That's why they call him Poopeye.
> I am going to write a musical called Poop! It will be a play about the worthless lives poop lead, and the attempted romance between a boy's poop and a girl's poop. It's a bunch of people dancing around in poop costumes!!! It would also feature sensitive teen drama, like one poop says to another poop "Look at that girl!!! She needs to be more firm and solid! She's getting too loose!". There will be a song whose sole lyrics are: POOP POOP POOP POOP POOP. . . . to infinity. For a good thirteen minutes. Just some old fat guy in a poop costume dancing around singing "poop poop poop poop poop" over and over. Until he collapses. In the Poop musical, it would deal with sensitive racial issues. Like diarrhea sues for ethnic discrimination because the solid logs called her "Loosey" and other derogatory names. I bet people who are devoutly religious the anus are called "dingleberries" because they cling to God (the anus). The atheists say poop came by natural forces like mud and clay. Time to time, God kills many poops by wiping them away. Some poop escapes and lives in the sewer. But those who are wiped against him, are wiped away. YOU LOVE YOUR GOD AND HE REJECTS YOU.
> This is what I'm getting at: I am using the metaphor for defecation to describing an existential tenet on Man's relationship with the Universe. Duh.
> I can imagine hugging a giant insect. They feel weird. So fuzzy and electric. What if there was a giant 9 foot tall horsefly. And he was your pet. And you flew on him and he kicked ass and you named him Sparky because the way he sparks when he flies at top speed across bar room tables.
> IF THERE ARE ALIENS THEY MIGHT COME TO KILL ME TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO GET MY ANTI-ALIEN SHOTGUN!!!!! DUDE I HOPE ALIENS ARENT REAL I SWEAR I HOPE THEY ARENT
> I just thought of the concept of quadrapalegia. Never being able to move your arms or legs. Wouldn't you just want to die? I know I would. Give me the cyanide, Doc, my time is due.
> -Cory