Posted by Brian C. on September 30, 1998 at 23:02:25:
In Reply to: Re: Some more answers posted by Kronus on September 30, 1998 at 20:31:47:
I have been participating vicariously and thought the discussion very
enlightening. May I suggest that 7 sublimates, 4 introjects. My 7 son
(22 years) says that he instinctively moves away from discomfort. He
also says that staying in physical pain is scarier than emotional pain
although he prefers to move out of both. He says pain triggers anxiety
and starts a downward spiral unless he moves on. The challenge is how
to increase tolerance to pain and decrease the reliance on 'fantasy'
(plans.) I agree that 4/7 is ideal in a romantic sense. 4 is prone to
depression. 7 wants acceptance and exudes confident optimism in early
'love.' 4 keeps 7 grounded in feeling. Healthy 4/7 works great.
It is when life's hardships show up that the two are challenged recip-
rocally. A morose 4 can be a real pain for a 7. In over their head 7s
can trigger shame for an idealistic 4. Detaching and solving individual
and relational issues requires a lot of working through that 7s shy
away from. Victimization is a real issue for loving 4s. Anyway, it is
a challenge for all type pairings but 4/7 approximates the Knight/princess
mythology (romantic.) I am being pedantic but I think fear is labeled
differently for many of us. Anxiety is a form of fear, but people distinguish
between the two. As a nine I am more conscious of anxious feelings than I
am fearful feelings. I believe that the root emotion is fear. Perhaps it is
consequences that make the difference: loss of control, loss of love, loss
of self esteem, loss of life. All are fear based; perhaps some are anxious
thoughts, or feelings, or gut reactions. I am sure that we mean different things
when we different types use similar words. I am not referring to denial.