Posted by JWS on October 24, 1998 at 00:18:22:
In Reply to: Re: Riso's Star Personality posted by JM on October 22, 1998 at 09:21:42:
: : Dear John,
: I have reviewed your communications and the comments of those who responded. Firstly, may I inform you that I am married to a 3x2 star personality.
Dear JM,
Thanks for taking your time to read the above comments and respond. As a 5w4 type with an 8 & 1 thrust, I can readily empathize and visualize your environment. I agree with you that our individual and collective course is through self-awareness. It is working for the members of my family. Our objective is to understand, as best we can, the "pain" derived from our past and of our ancestors. We believe that most of our "stuff" has developed over many, many generations. We do not expect to heal all wounds nor stop all "stuff" from being passed to other descendants. We recognize our "living process."
Have you read Dr. Charles Whitfield's book entitled, "BOUNDARIES?" In addition to the excellent work on understanding ourselves, he draws for us an inverted bell curve with captions along the curvatures depicting our "level of continium" using decriptive phases for further identification. You can well imagine the level described at the bottom of the curve! He continues to describe our behavior as we move away from denial to climb higher toward self-discovery, inner peace and spirituality.
I have always fallen back on that pictorial image to identify my own path and journey toward that pinnacle called "higher spirituality," Masloff's point above self-actualization- beyond the "self" and individualization toward a "universal connectiveness." This simple outline provides an easily viewed and understood description of our "living process" and many anticpated outcomes along the journey predicted and dependent upon our choice of direction.
We may choose to awaken from earlier life defenses that suffocate and deny the soul- or deny the self the opportunity of discovery and continue to move toward or sustain unhealthy behavioral systems.
My inverted bell curve journey has provided me with many opportunites for self-discovery. So-be-it, it has taken half a century to finally accept myself instead of past "projections" '...upon the stage signifying nothing.'" As I have taken more responsibility for myself (work still in process), I can more readily leave behind externalizing and projecting self onto/into someone or other "systems" (boundary issues). This work has been most helpful in better handling others "stuff" since I don't have to accept their problems as my own. I can better own what is mine and not take on another's shame, blame & guilt burdens. I can mirror a healthier person which can then be reflected back in the form of fewer stressors hopefully with love, faith, and hope...reflecting Riso/Hudson's healthier personalities.
My wife and I realize that support systems are an immense benefit as individuals and as a family. My objective when initially posting here was to find someone such as yourself and spouse who has similar "types" which may have produced similar experiences-- but has also discovered the Enneagram and its superlative uses for self-discovery.
I look forward to the opportunity of corresponding with you.
JWS